American Canine Liberties Union
The Top Ten Reasons Why
DOGS ARE BETTER THAN CATS
Warning!!! Disregard above picture! Site hacked by AFLU.
10. When threatened, cats run away and hide. This is where the words “Fraidy Cat” and “Pussy” come from.
When threatened, dogs attack, no matter how big their opponent. This is where the words “Stupid” and “Dead” come from. Disregard all! Hacked again!
9. Dogs love riding in the car with you. Cats hate riding in cars.
There is no safe place in a car except for that tiny space waaaay up underneath the dashboard.
8. Dogs can be trained. That’s why they are smarter than cats.
Yeah, Right. Try to train a dog not to eat out of the litter box. Case closed.
7. Dogs don’t arch their back and spit. Like, that’s really going to scare anybody.
Cats pick their fights very carefully. That’s why they have nine lives. Dogs would know this if they could count to nine.
6. Dogs don’t throw up smelly, squishy hairballs that you step on in the middle of the night. Dogs spend their lives looking for butts to sniff and things to pee on. Case positively, definitely closed.
5. Dogs are athletic. Cats just lie around and sleep on the window sill.
Athletic? Drop a cat from the roof and it will always land on its feet. Drop a dog from the roof and it will land in a vet’s freezer.
4. Cats are immoral, will stab you in the back and for sure had something to do with 9/11. They are Godless. Dogs read too many Ann Coulter books.
3. Cats don’t come when they’re called. Correct. Unless you’ve found a mouse, bird or insect that needs to be teased, tortured and/or dismembered.
2. Dogs are man’s best friend.
Yes, dogs are man’s best friend – unless you leave them home alone, then it will look like someone threw a kegger in your house. Leave a cat alone, it will nibble at your marijuana plants and go to sleep.
1. Cats control the media, the stock market and are responsible for all
the world’s wars. They think they’re the chosen ones. This is true.
The AFLU Disregard! Disregard! Disregard!
American Feline Liberties Union