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September 23, 2008


No matter the gigantic stack of good qualities I posess, I wasn't technically human in my girlfriend's eyes without a Facebook profile. I'd beat it down for months, dodging around a myriad of real and made up responsilbilities about why I had no time. But after getting caught one Sunday saying I "didn't have much to do that day" I was 'nagplowed' into setting something up. I coincidentally had an invite in my yahoo from a friend that was the hub of social activity where I used to live, so I was plus 1 friend already!'DINg-DiNG'dInG-Ding-DIng' By lunch my inbox was full. I was in awe. They should rename Facebook 'GirlsYouUsedToSleepWithThat AreWayHotterNow.' I mean Damn...Why do they decide to do 'adult entertainment' now, and I got them back when they worked at Pet Smart. Needless to say, as a newb, I was completely transfixed. 'DInG!!!' Oh an alert! Guess what, Jorge, that Peruvian oxe herder you friended because you both like that one movie? He just took a shit...Thought you should Know! It's amazing how much info you get on people, like it or not. That dude you hate is rich, that band you left is making a killing in the UK,that blind date you skipped? The Croatian lingerie model was pissed off, but your buddy Chris was not, because he filled in, and they only left his room twice all weekend, both times for Gatorade. Hi five buddy, I'll put the pics of what you missed on your 'wall.' What a kick in the Facebook...