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April 19, 2012

Those Stupid stick figures on the back of every soccer mom's caravan!!!!


Fads come and they go, creeping up on you out of nowhere and growing on the general public with all the unforgiving brutality of a blazing wildfire i.e. silly bands, pokemon, webkinz etc. Let's hope this one passes fast...
Why is it that if you own a caravan, station wagon, or hybrid suv that it must be adorned with a stick figure family on the rear window??? I find them painstakingly annoying for no apparent reason. Perhaps it stems back to childhood, maybe I feel a deep seeded and completely misdirected anger toward the art school drop out turned millionaire because they made all of their money on the one thing my elementary school art teacher told me I wouldn't amount to anything for...stick figures. Perhaps it is more the fact that the shitty driver in front of me feels the need to inform me that they have, in fact, bred thus creating more shitty drivers for the future. Whatever it is, it makes me want to sharpie in a noose around the father's neck, a knife in the mother's hand and a nice set of fangs and devil horns for little Jimmy and Suzy. Is that soooo wrong of me? I don't give a shit about how many members of your family there are, how many pets you have or how you let "Jesus take the wheel" when I have been sitting at a stop sign behind you for two minutes longer than I should have because your too involved with your little soccer mom call to take a DAMN LEFT!!! The only thing that those little stick figures on the back of your window are doing is informing me of the number of men, women and children who's vehicular homocide I am going to be charged with if you don't stop driving your caravan like old people fuck...oh and the amount of dogs or cats that will go unfed because of above said homocide. That being said, I feel a little better now...gotta go...hittin Chuck E. Cheese's with a sharpie ;)