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Published: May 10, 2012
Description: Dylan Rhymer's State of the Week



(NORTH CAROLINA) - In an overwhelming 69 to 31 vote, North Carolina voted to ban “Bromance”,  as defined as a non-sexual but emotionally charged relationship between two non-gay dudes. From now on “Bromosexual” activities such as chest bumps, playing basketball shirtless and emotionally man-hugging at your best friend’s wedding is punishable with up to 2 years in prison.

Said North Carolina Senator Pinkly Botchroid (R); “Okay, so God made Adam and Eve and then made Adam and Steve. But Steve was only there to hang out with Adam in a strictly non-homo way like Ralph Kramden and Norton on the Honeymooners. And they never talked about their dads. I’m pretty sure that’s in the Bible somewhere. And if not, it damn well should be.”


 On the White House lawn, US President Barack Obama and Vice President Joe Biden advocated the pro-Bromance lifestyle with a long, hard man-hug concluding with a meaningful pat on the back with their eyes closed. 

 Said President Obama to Vice President Biden; “I love you, man.”

 “I know man. Right back at ya, bro.” Replied the Vice President.

 NC voted against all male/male relationships that are “sorta kinda faggy”, except in cases of two of L.A’s top rival cops who are framed for a murder they didn’t commit and must escape prison in order to clear their names…But they’re gonna have to work together even if it kills them.