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St. Louis, Missouri (HAHAJK) – If you are a drug addict, rule #1 is to keep it in a safe place away from your kids. If you can’t do that, at the very least tell them to keep their god-damned hands off your stash.

The unconventional "Show and Tell" items

A kindergartner in rural Sweet Springs, Missouri, brought a bag of crystal meth and a crack pipe to school for show-and-tell, but a drug savvy and street smart teacher kept the boy from sharing the paraphernalia with others at the school, an official said on Tuesday.

“He couldn’t wait to show the other kids what his mommy and daddy were up to,” Superintendent Donna Wright said of the September 6 incident. “He kept telling the other kids he had some ‘primo sh*t’.”

A teacher recognized the drugs and pipe from his history with fighting addiction, tried a little to be certain, then informed the police. “The classroom would have had quite a party if it had made it into the classroom,” Wright added.

“We can’t stress enough to parents: please keep your crippling drug addictions and your parental responsibilities separate,” Police Chief Dick Downing said. He added that the boy’s mother, Michelle Pusher, 32, was arrested later on drug charges and released on bail.

“His mom was really upset,” Wright said. “This is on her though. I keep my leather fetish a secret from my kids and store everything in a securely locked shed.”

Pusher says she has learned her lesson and will make sure that she keeps all of her dirty little secrets a little tighter under wraps. Child Services say she tried to ground the boy from her cell, but said that they would disregard the request.

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