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Published September 01, 2008 More Info »
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Published September 01, 2008

Dear John,

No, this is not that kind of dear John letter.

This letter is for JohnLip.

 

Dear John,

Oh Johnny boy, where have you gone? You've left us, gone for 11 days now, and we miss you terribly.

I worry that something has happend to you. Are you lost in the AZ desert? Did you go to jail for that little mess that happened in Vegas? (Maybe we incorrectly assumed that everything that happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas) Have you given up all of your worldly possessions and joined a Tibetan monestary? Did you horribly burn your mouth and hands on a HotPocket?

I feel a deep obligation to try everything I can to get you to come home, so here are the reasons you need to come back.

1. The forums needs all the funny it can get right now. SillyBitch7 is on a humorless bender, spewing her nonsensicle jibberish all over the place.

2. 1 Lip just isn't enough to satiate Amy4Birds lustful cougar appetite. (HAHA, I called Amy A cougar.)

3. You complete me.

So, you said you knew what real heartbreak feels like, now, I too know, and it ain't good. I kinda feels like I just had dinner with SB7 and was forced to sit there, listening to her go on for over 3 hours and then finally going home, only to find out that she's staying at my house.

Anyhoo, I miss that shayna punim. I’m plotzing over here, you’ve been gone so long. I don’t want to be a yente but, what are you, meshugener. You’re practically mishpocheh, right? So check in once in a while, don’t make me worry, I’m a worrier.

 

Love, OJ

 

Everyone who misses JohnLip, sound off below.

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