Scientists at NASA are reporting that Comet Lovejoy while traveling through outer space, is producing large amounts of alcohol as well as sugars. This is the first time scientists have witnessed ethyl alcohol to exist on a comet.
“We found that comet Lovejoy was releasing as much alcohol as in at least 500 bottles of wine every second during its peak activity,” said Nicolas Biver of the Paris Observatory, France.
Guys, that’s so much fucking alcohol and that can only mean two things. One, scientists and party animals are not that different after all and two, we have to hold Spring Break 2k16 on Comet Lovejoy and everyone is invited!
500 bottles of wine a second? I know we don’t usually drink wine because we are shitty college students but free booze is the best booze. And at the rate it’s being produced, invite all of your friends. There is no way we are running out like last time. Plus, since it’s free, it’ll offset the cost of airfare. Still haven’t figured out that part yet, but maybe we can use our dads’ business miles to get there? Whatever. We’ll figure that out later.
The other huge upside to Comet Lovejoy SB2k16 is that they def do not card. We can bring all the hot underclassmen and they can party with us. Also we can tell all our parents this is like for an astro field trip or that we’re like helping poor kids on the moon or something like that so that they will pay for it.
Oh fuck and one more thing. Boobs in ZERO gravity. I literally can not even imagine what that is going to be like. That is going to be CRAZY.
Guys, this is gonna be the sickest Spring Break ever and literally will be out of this world. If anyone has any leads on flights, let the homies know and we’ll all book the same shuttle so we can start pre-gaming on our way there!