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February 14, 2017

A quick walk through the thoughts of the U.S. Presidents.

The Wit of the Presidents

1.George Washington. “Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.”

2. John Adams. “But a Constitution of Government once changed from Freedom, can never be restored. Liberty, once lost, is lost forever.”

3. Thomas Jefferson. “Whenever the people are well informed, they can be trusted with their own government; that whenever things get so far wrong as to attract their notice, they may be relied on to set them to rights.”

4. James Madison. “Crisis is the rallying cry of the tyrant.”

5. James Monroe. “The emigrants although of different parties and different religious sects all flew from persecution in pursuit of liberty.”

6. John Quincy Adams. “No, I’m the other one.”

7. Andrew Jackson. “It’s a damn poor mind that can think of only one way to spell a word.”

8. Martin Van Buren. “It is easier to do a job right than to explain why you didn’t.”

9. William Henry Harrison. “I will keep this short so we can get out of this rain.”

10.John Tyler. “How about that rain huh?”

11. James k Polk. “Thank God, under our Constitution there was no connection between church and state.”

12. Zachary Taylor. “I have no private purpose to accomplish, no party objective to build up, no enemies to punish – nothing to serve but my country” and “Stop your nonsense and drink your whiskey!”

13. Millard Fillmore. “ May God save the country, for it is evident that the people will not.”

14. Franklin Pierce. “There is nothing left to do but get drunk.”

15. James Buchanan .“I am the last President of the United States!”

16. Abraham Lincoln. “It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain; that this nation shall have a new birth of freedom; and that this government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.”

17. Andrew Johnson. “It’s a damn poor mind that can think of only one way to spell a word.” Also attributed to Mark Twain, Hiram Runnels and Nyrum Reynolds.

18. Ulysses S. Grant. “I love Scotch. I love Scotch, Scotchy Scotch Scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly.”

19. Rutherford B Hayes. “It is a government of the people by the people for the people no longer it is a government of corporations by corporations for corporations.”

20. James A. Garfield. “ A brave man is a man who dares to look the Devil in the face and tell him he is a Devil.”

21. Chester A. Arthur. “ You don’t know who I am!”

22. Grover Cleveland. “ Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote.” ….I didn’t say they were all going to be gems.

23. Benjamin Harrison. “I pity the man who wants a coat so cheap that the man or woman who produces the cloth will starve in the process.”

24. Grover Cleveland. “ It’s me again!”

25. William Mckinley. “The American flag has not been planted on foreign soil to acquire more territory but for humanity’s sake.”

26. Theodore Roosevelt. “When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer ‘Present’ or ‘Not guilty.”

27. William H. Taft. “Oooh….Wha What do you think was in that danish? You think it was cheese?…cause I uh.. I got a little problem with cheese.”

28. Woodrow Wilson. “The world must be made safe for democracy.”

29. Warren G. Harding. “I knew that this job would be too much for me.”

30. Calvin Coolidge. “The chief business of the American people is business.”

31. Herbert Hoover. “Blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt.”

32. Franklin D. Roosevelt. “Repetition does not transform a lie into a truth.”

33. Harry S. Truman. “We must have strong minds, ready to accept facts as they are.”

34. Dwight D. Eisenhower. “ There are three stages of life: youth, maturity, and 'My, you’re looking good!’

35. John F. Kennedy. ” Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.“

36. Lyndon B. Johnson. ” But, uh when I gain a little weight they cut me under there. So, leave me , you never do have much of margin there. See if you can’t leave me an inch from where the zipper (burps) ends, round, under my, back to my bunghole, so I can let it out there if I need to.“ - LBJ ordering pants from Joe Haggar

37. Richard Nixon. ” Sock it to ME?“

38. Gerald Ford. "Richard Nixon was just offered $2 million by Schick to do a television commercial - for Gillette.”

39. Jimmy Carter. “America did not invent human rights. In a very real sense human rights invented America.”

40. Ronald Reagan. “My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes.”

41. George H. W. Bush. “I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don’t always agree with them.”

42. Bill Clinton. “The road to tyranny, we must never forget, begins with the destruction of the truth.”

43. George W. Bush. “There’s an old saying in Tennessee — I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.”

44. Barack Obama. “When ignorant folks want to advertise their ignorance, you don’t really have to do anything, you just let them talk.”

45. Donald Trump. “I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”