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September 27, 2008


I took my little sweetie pie to MacDonalds yesterday which is a place we have not gone in probably a few weeks because I am opposed to the new oil they use for the French Fries. (I'm sorry, but if I have to walk through a haze of cigarette smoke every time I pass an office building downtown because even though second hand smoke is as deadly as actual smoking, they make too much money off of it, so it's LEGAL to impose certain death on me if you want to pony up the tax and smoke your own face off in spite of consequences. So, people can smoke and drink their faces off...but I can't eat French Fries that I like, which only affects my fat ass and is no one else's problem (except visually, I suppose), but people are free to smoke and drink at their leisure??? Keep your legislation off my fries, BITCHES!) That aside, I also don't like the new menu (I'll discuss my issues with the concept of "change" with my shrink on Tuesday), so I had a value meal so that I could have a "regular" McDonald's cheeseburger. It tasted very good. It tasted so very good that it inspired me to make a mental list of good ideas and bad ideas. Good Idea : Cheeseburgers :) Bad Idea: Becoming part of a mystical cult that's sole purpose is to raise the undead and bring forth a demented, ancient "Master" who will brutalize and enslave the human race. It's not the worst idea, just a little short sighted. Good Idea : Puppies :) Bad Idea : Loaning me your car. Good Idea : Volunteering Bad Idea : Ugly babies. Good Idea : Sex as breakfast. (Makes that cheeseburger you eat for lunch taste that much better!) Bad Idea : Stealing an apple in Zimbabwe. Seriously, they'll cut your hands off! Good Idea : Helping a blind person across a busy intersection...on a green light. Bad Idea : Hepetitus C. (Ask Pam Anderson and Natelie Cole about it) Good Idea : Zoolander Bad Idea : Yop. Do you realize that you're drinking something called "Yop"? That's about all my trip to MacDonald's inspired...well that's coming out of the top hole anyway (That was so gross! I will not object if you want it struck from the record!). And, at least I didn't leave any leftovers in the public commode.