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April 16, 2010
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you might be an american if...
  • You get winded walking to the kitchen
  • You think $2 million for a 300 square foot bungalow qualifies as a sound investment
  • You feel strongly that the United States has a child obesity problem, but your child's "self esteem" is too important for you to tell them that they need to go on a diet
  • The last book you've read from start to finish was "Hop on Pop"
  • Your financial "emergency plan" consists of Chapters 7 and 13
  • You're currently stalking Britney Spears
  • You spend more money than you make
  • Your car seats nineteen adults comfortably
  • You've ever blamed anything on "The Man"
  • You spend $6.00 for your daily cup of coffee but think $2.79 for a gallon of gas is outrageous
  • You think that Uggz Boots make a good fashion statement
  • You've ever considered a career in "Day Trading" or "Real Estate Investing"
  • You bathe at least once a day
  • You consider Paris Hilton to be a role model
  • You think everything tastes better fried
  • You can recite an entire Eminem album word for word
  • You've sued a large corporation at least once in your life
  • You pay money to a stockbroker just so you'll have someone else to blame
  • You think professional wrestling is real
  • You think professional wrestling is entertaining
  • Your self worth is determined by the amount of money you spent on your car
  • There are eight or more Starbucks within a five mile radius of your home
  • Your plan for retirement is to make millions on your house
  • You currently lease a Cadillac Escalade or Hummer H2
  • You cant' spel, and you're grammar are horrendous
  • You own a 4000 square foot home but still think you "need more space"
  • You think South Korea is a member of the "Axis of Evil"
  • Your idea of fine cinema is "Big Momma's House"
  • You can't do simple math, even with a calculator
  • You can never remember if the "World Cup" is golf or tennis
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