Former Vice-President Richard “Dick” Cheney, has been seen in many images with his head
Former president Dick Cheney.
covered in recent months. Finally this weekend, Mr. Cheney revealed that he has been healing from cosmetic surgery to implant what the former VP now refers to as his “little tribute to both name and reputation."
"He’s endangered. He should just be grateful to be alive.”
When Mr. Cheney was asked whether or not he was pleased with the results of his surgery, he explained how he had taken the trophy – a meatus which was transplanted from an endangered African white rhino to the former Vice Presidential dome. In case readers aren’t familiar with a meatus, it is the tip of the glans of the penis, which attaches to the urethra very similar to most mammals, including humans. “I don’t know what everyone’s so upset about” snapped the 71-year-old, “it’s not like we killed him for god’s sake. So he has to pee through a tube for the rest of his life. He’s endangered. He should just be grateful to be alive.”
Former president Dick Cheney displays the results of his recent cosmetic surgery to repair a softening reputation among the American people.
When asked a follow up question by this reporter about what he would do in the event that this rhino did not survive the trauma of his wounds, which many vets expect, Cheney replied “I’ll have something real nice made out of his horn to honor his memory. Probably a tooth pick or a hair pin. Something nice”, he answered.