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April 10, 2014

An amazing awesome funny and accurate description.

So, for the non-millionaire part of the people reading this article, you'd know that living on rent in your early years is inevitably linked to sharing apartment with total strangers at times. For those in college it's even more fresh in the memory banks.

You'll also know that the people you get as roommate are often very different from what you are and the life together may some times be a very...extraordinary...experience. Based on my own experience and that of my closest circle of people, I can identify 16 types of people you can get as roomies. Without further ado, let's start with number one.

1.The Socializer 

Annoying friend

It's like a broken radio. They will talk, talk, talk and talk some more...Always and forever.. Sometimes you think they have a phobia of silence and alone time. They always want to hang and will bring new people at home everyday. It's as if they are BFF's with the whole city. 

They're perfect when you want to socialize, because they will know everyone and everything around and it can be really fun hanging with them, but not so much when you just want to have a moment to yourself.

2.The Next President

Good BoyRight..The good boy. He's the symbol of every social norm ever created. Smart, mannered, clean, excellent habits, positive, helpful and never in any way will they make you feel bad...purposely. 

The problem with Captain America here, is he's so perfect you just can't stand him. You feel like a leftover, a by product of humanity in comparison and it's disgusting. 

The worst thing is even if you want to start an argument, provoke them or do anything to make them show they're human, you will only be greeted with a smile and a friendly gesture. Of course, they mean good, but the same time it's driving you insane, because you cannot stomach your own imperfections next to them.

3.The Party Machine 

Party AnimaThey are wild, energetic and always up for a nice time. If you want to have a night out, take one with you, as they will know all the good places and all the right people for a good time. 

They might not be able to go past freshmen year, but they can sure gobble down a bottle of vodka as a warm up. These guys and girls have the life expectancy of a coal mine worker in Syberia. Their motto is "Life is too short, to slow down" and they probably have a contingency plan for a liver and heart transplantation when they reach thirty. 

It's good to have at least one around, but don't surround yourself completely, or you just might be pulled in the maelstrom.

5.The Slob

filthy slobThey call it organized mess... Scientists call it pollution. Slobs aspire best in a heavily cluttered environment. Clothes, shoes, food, stuff everywhere. They're so good at creating a mess, sometimes it can break physics and break the volume limit of the room. 

Imagine the magical car trunk in the Harry Potter story. Now imagine it twice as effective. Impressive isn't it ? Now don't get me wrong, slobs are not hoarders, but they somehow manage to get stuff everywhere, anywhere and as much as it's annoying and bares potential for diseases and infestations, it's sometimes hilarious how bad it can get. 

Slobs are excellent in logistics. You might not know it, but you can never beat a slob at tetris. His skills have been polished in the constant act of piling dirty plates and kitchenware, and always finding a new spot for something, without cleaning up the place.

6.The Addict

Cheech and ChongThey're the spawn of Ozzy Osbourne and Charlie Sheen, only they're not popular and can beat them both in a coke snorting contest. This specimen has unnatural body chemistry and can ingest even the hardest drugs without visible negative effect. 

Their house plants consist of various sorts of marijuana, which they obviously smoke like you and me smoke cigarettes. You've never seen them completely sober and it's unlikely you ever will, but, that's okay. It's highly possible that you will not like them when not high (assuming that you like them right now). 

The good thing is you can get quality cheap drugs as they know all the good deals and dealers in the area. The bad thing is you can get arrested. You also have to take extra care in eliminating any evidence should inspection of the property occur, so it's best that you train on your cleaning skills.

The addict trait combos with the party machine one awfully frequent. If you add some money to support both "hobbies" the results can be grandiose in both good and bad ways. 

7.The Neat Freak

Neat FreakEver so often you will happen to share a flat with a near freak. Now, that's not necessarily bad, as they will maintain the highest level of hygiene in the shared areas and their rooms.

However, most of them will nagg and hagg at you every time the hygiene is not up to their standard because of you. And let's face it, you can never reach a girl who vacuums the carpets three times a day and takes a bath between each one.

It's best to avoid any activities that might generate some dirt around them, because you never know when something might snap and earn yourself an ammonia shower.

8.The Athlete

gym jokeOr rather regular gym jock. Their body is their temple and there is nothing they love more than to shove that fact into your face every chance they get.

“Athletes” don't care much about anything else than training, drinking and having sex. The latter of which depends on how well they execute the first two.

They know anatomy to perfection, and even better the proper way to flex any muscle in the human body.

I find it awfully hilarious when I get to “enjoy” a powerful display. But hey, I guess some girls like it anyway.

One good thing about them is they are very useful if you want to get in shape and start training. Sometimes too useful for your comfort zone, but they will really help you out when you don't know what to do.

9.The Drama Queen 

drama queenIf drama was water, they'd be the ocean. Drama queens live on drama. Not only, but they breathe, drink and feed on drama as well.

My sock in your corner ?– apocalypse. I've used your favourite spoon from set of identical, cheep, chinese cutley ?- supernova.

Drama queens are funny to watch from the sidelines, but the most annoying thing when you have to share apartments. It's always noisy and full of arguments over the hair conditioner or the rubbish bin.

I'd stay away, if I have the chance, since it's one of the people who will contribute with nothing to your life.

10.The Passive Aggressive One

passive aggressive noteMuch like the drama queen, the passive aggressive person will make an issue out of the smallest and most insignificant things.

However, rather than confronting you directly, they will leave little witty comments on sticky notes around the house, always speaking from somebody else’s perspective – like the cat, or the toaster..or something else.

If you disregard their messages, they will try to make them even more noticeable. If you've made a mess, they might make a bigger one with the expectancy that you'll clean it all, because you started.

It can often turn into a silent war around the house, with is as uncomfortable, as living together can get.

11.The Anti-social One

anti-socialThe anti-social one is not a problem most of the time. They will never leave the apartment, for anything but chores, work and school.

In the house, they generally don't make problems, as they devote to their own activities like video games, books, studies, or something else.

They will rarely make trouble, except it can get awkward when you have invited people home and somebody roams around, ignoring everybody's existence.

The bad comes when they combo with the slob characteristic. Then you'd have somebody who always stays at home and contaminates everything around.

12. The Activist

college liberaThe activists are a funny breed. They always protest about something and somebody. At home it will often be a discussion about products and materials and you will always be the criticised one.

“ Why are you using toothpaste ? Don't you know it's tested on animals? “

“ Don't smoke and poison the people around you, you murderer!”

It never ends and you're always the bad person. I don't mind supporting causes, but when it gets overboard, I can't stand people like these.

13. The Sharer

the sharerThey think that because you live together, instantly every belonging is mutual. Thus, they have no disregards for eating your food, using your products or taking clothes of yours to wear...without asking.

Sure sharing is cool between roomies, but sleeping in my bed is not and getting home from a tiresome day to an empty fridge is even worse.

Bad thing in this case is that no matter how much you discuss it, they will never correct their ways and always find your things to be their things as well.

Unless you keep your life under lock and key, don't, for a second, expect them to stay out of it.

14. The 2 for 1

The 2 for 1 is when the person you live in has their significant other around all the time. They're always at home doing stuff.

It's essentially as if you're living with two people, when there is space for one only. If they have a separate room, it's generally okay. However, If you sleep in the same space, it's awful to have the other bed banging against the wall three times a day.

To add to that, you don't have the freedom to do whatever you want in the house (including staying in your undies for the rest of the day) like you thought you would when you picked a "same sex roomie"...

Not only that, but you can find an awful lot of disgusting stuff, you don't want to see, everywhere in the room.

If you've ever stepped onto a used condom first thing in the morning, and, it's not yours, you know what I'm talking about.

15. The Ghost

the ghostThe ghost is a very convenient roommate. They're never in the apartment, doing other things and you only see them once every few weeks. It's not that they're anti-social, but always busy.

Most of the time you're aware of their presence, because some stuff have moved from where you last placed them, which can be creepy at times.

This is perfect because you basically have the flat to yourself most of the time.

When they come back, they always share some amazing story about what happened when they were gone. I've heard the most incredible things out of such people.

16. The Money Vampire

i.o.uThis is my personal worst in the entire compilation. The money vampires are usually either addicts, or party machines, or both.

They're always completely broke and will cling on your wallet like a bad leech. They never contribute to shared supplies and will often “borrow” your things until the end of eternity.

Don't count your luck on assistance, if there are any services to be paid. Rather, expect to hear “Can I borrow rent money, BRO..I'll paid double next month..” every month.

If there are repair costs or tenancy cleaning, or any other service you might have to pay as tenants to the property, you better be prepared to cover the full amount, because you're not getting any money from them...ever...

Well, most of these never come along and the combinations can be pretty awesome, or pretty devastating on occasions. Shared life goes like that sometimes, but hey, it's an experience, and I personally wouldn't miss it, as the ride is always unique...in it's own way.

More articles from Audrey Wright:

5 Creepiest Things Found In Somebody's Home

The Life Cycle of Living On Rent