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April 14, 2016

With graduation season upon us once again, it’s time to take a look back at all the reasons high school really was the best.


High school, it is truly the most nurturing form of prison. But whether you loved it or you hated it, we can all agree it was the best time of our lives. We asked some of our contributors what exactly made high school so “the best"and here is what they said.

  • Drinking with teens was less frowned upon.
  • Everyone had a cool nickname like “Laser” or “Double Laser” or “Laser Laser.”
  • Could use period as an excuse to get out of more things.
  • It was the 9/11 era, everyone was having a good time.
  • Blockbuster & chill.
  • Could obsess about comic books, Dungeons & Dragons, and popular culture without people saying “grow up” or “host this podcast.”
  • Was able to fix jukeboxes with a simple elbow.
  • American icon Dennis Hastert was my wrestling coach.
  • Great at leaning chair back and balancing without falling over.
  • Gym was a required class that didn’t cost $90/month.
  • Was able to masturbate to still photos.
  • Hand jobs were enough for you people.
  • Got to take showers with best friends!!!
  • Losing virginity seemed so obtainable back then.
  • There was no better time to straight-up hate all the people around you.
  • We all looked like 30-year-old television actors.
  • Had somewhere to go every day.
  • Was deeply closeted back then, but at least my family still loved me.
  • Because if you died in high school, you didn’t die in real life.
  • Got to walk down hallways every day, not like now where you have to make special trips to hospitals to get your hallway walkin’ on.
  • It was something unpredictable. But in the end it was right.