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Published: January 21, 2013
Description: Even more random thoughts from the great mind of Joshua Proctor




  I always think that Kamikaze fighters must have been the guys who never really got that whole landing part down right. "Yoshi I notice you are still having trouble landing.......no I wouldn't worry about it you will be great!" I feel like the whole idea of kamikazes may have been a joke that the other person didn't know it was a joke. "Oh we are running low on bombs? Well we can always just have them crash their planes into the ships!" "That is a great idea!" "No I was just......."
  One time I saw  on the History Channel someone who served as a kamikaze. My first thought was how bad was this guy at his job? His job was falling from the sky and dying......oh and if you could land on one of their things please. Someone told me "Joshua you couldn't do it"  I said I think I could. Just show me how to take off and.....that is all I will find a way to kill myself from there.

Death Metal:

  I like most types of music. The one type I can never really get into is that death metal. First off just most of their names alone kind of make me hate them. I feel like the hardest part is making a name that will a lot of people mad. Here are some names: Virgin Mary's Period,God's Tait,Raping Jesus,The Bible Burners,Raping Moses,Mary Likes It In The Ass, Beastitly Orgy On Noah's Boat and They Only Hang Assholes On Crosses. It seems like they just have a hat that they pick words out of to make their name. "What should we name our band?" "Hmmmmmm we got....Crucified Fetus!" How can anyone listen to this for more than 3mins? Like on a road trip "What music we got for the trip? Aerosmith? Billy Joel?" "No this feels like a Anal Cunt type of drive." A lot of people who like this type of music don't like them cause they like the sound (it can't be) they like it cause nobody else likes it. I wonder if these assholes do everything in their lives using that same reasoning. " Oh sorry I don't eat steak too many people like it. I eat rat. Sorry if that isn't pop culture enough for you."


  Out of all the jobs that are about killing people I think being a sniper would be my choice. It is way more safe to be a sniper than a hitman. A hitman got to go knocking on doors. You don't know who is going to answer. I mean it could be someone dangerous!! You are at least a safe 300 feet away from people when you are a sniper. You just got to make sure you got the right person which could be harder of you are far away. But that is fixed with a simple phone call. "Hey is this James Walton?.....oh ok sweet hey by chance are you wearing a yellow shirt and standing in front of a K-Mart right now?.....You are? Could you take like 3 steps to the left for me?"
  To be killed by a sniper would be pretty cool. I mean I would think they cost a lot of money and they got to be hard to find. So if someone goes through  all of that trouble to kill you than you must be someone important. Just think about it. If your son was just shot by some random crack head. Yea you are upset but you are more embarrassed. Now if that some son got killed by a sniper. "Yes my son is James Walton.....OMG! HOW!....Really? Wow! He must have been doing pretty good for himself! Hold on let me tell my wife....Honey guess what happened to your son today!"

The LOL Rule:

  There is one rule in texting that a lot of people still don't understand. The LOL rule. It is pretty simple. You can text the meanest sickest thing to someone and just add a "LOL" at the end of the message and they can't get mad. "I hope your mother dies from cancer....lol" There are some rules to using the LOL rule however. If you send the text " I think your wife is a whore" but you forget to add LOL at the end. You have no more than 15 secs to send a LOL text t that person. The LOL rule only works in texting never try the rule in person. It would not work. "Yo I wouldn't mind watching her daughter get raped! LAUGH OUT LOUD!!!"

Hangover Help:

  Here is a quick one. I hate it when people say the best way to help a hangover is to drink more? How does that make any sense? It would be like if you went to the hospital after being shot and the doctor says "lets shoot the bullet out of him."

O.J's Killer:

  What every happen to the guy who killed O.J's wife? I mean O.J didn't do it right? So is that it? Did they just stop looking? Is that how the law works? "Well we only get one guess at who did it and we were wrong." I mean what type of killer could have done such a great job to be never caught? He had to be fast and strong. He most likely was in pretty good shape......like a football player....wait a sec! O.J did do it!!!!