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October 04, 2008


Beauty is only skin-deep. Does that mean people used to cut open pretty people looking for more beauty? And what if they have really nice bone structure?

Crime does not pay. What if you're a cop?

Fight fire with fire.  Anyone who believes this probably shouldn't be fighting fires. Can you help me put out this grease fire? Sure, let me get some lighter fluid and matches.

Laughter is the best medicine.  I'm going to replace my roommates insulin with a jokebook and see what happens.

Man cannot live by bread alone.  What if the bread contained fruits and vegetables?

Old habits die hard, but what if the habit in question is being the world's weakest man? 

The last straw breaks the camel's back. Any straw that can break a camel's back should be weaponized by the military.

When in Rome, do as the Romans do.  I fed a slave to a lion while in Rome.  All I got were weird looks.

You cannot have your cake and eat it. Fuck you, I'm gonna eat my cake. What do you want me to do, just look at it?