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January 12, 2017

How to look good naked. It's important to be confident!

Tape and Tap. Grab a magazine where someone looks really amazing on it, you know the kind. It doesn’t matter if it’s really old, or even not the proportional size. Get some scotch tape, or if you like a challenge, duct tape, and stick it right on that torso of yours.

Blind Faith Ask everyone in the room to close their eyes. When they’ve done that, strip down and whisper in everyones ear individually: “I look so good right now. Due to my nudity.” Trust me, this will totally work.

Make Flab, Fab! Not a woman but have breasts? That’s not a problem, you should be proud, sister! Tell everyone you’re a woman when you get naked. For a woman your age, your breasts look kick-ass! If anyone mentions your gut, just say they’re body shaming and write an article about it on Vogue or Cosmo. Be as fab as your gender fluidity can make you!

The Intimidation Game No need for codes or trickery. Simply take off all your clothes, stare someone right in the face and say “I look good, don’t I?” Bonus snaps if you bring a knife!

Two words: “Clothes Pegs” No one ever looks at your back fat AND your front fat at the same time. Why not just pull all your fat back and then pin it behind you? Let your spine worry about your problems! Out of site, out of mind!

Over-Estimating As you are undressing tell the person/s in the room that you are “Incredibly fat”. Just keep saying it: “I’m so bloody well fat! I can’t believe how fat I am”. You’ll almost guarantee they will be pleasantly surprised by how skinny you are. Expect to hear “You’re not THAT fat”. Success.