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December 28, 2016

DULUTH, MN - Bundling up during last week’s cold weather was not enough for local insurance salesman...

Man Sneezes and Because No One Says “Bless You”, Begins to Question Self Worth

Dylan Smith


DULUTH,MN - Bundling up during last week’s cold weather was not enough for local insurance salesman Carl Sanding, 32. Like many of his coworkers, he found himself with the sniffles last Friday as he arrived at work. The trouble in his breathing mounted to a climax when, in the midst of his workday and in the center of his office, he let out a harrowing sneeze. According to reports, the sneeze came late in the workday at 3:30pm, but no amount of time could prepare Sanding for what he had to endure next. Sanding sat in silence as he waited for the comforting “bless you” he felt he deserved, but unfortunately for Sanding,the expected response never came. “They said it for Brittany when she sneezed only seven minutes earlier,” he pleaded. “I don’t understand what I did wrong,maybe I’m just no good.” Sanding explained that the sneeze was loud enough that they had to have heard it, and just collectively chose to publicly humiliate him. After enough time had passed, Sanding whispered to himself “bless me” to reassure himself that he is well liked and is a person of value. It is unclear what Sanding’s future will look like with his new self-image of an outcast due to the event that the media is calling ‘social sneezicide’. When asked for any final comments, Sanding added that “part of me wishes that my heart had actually stopped right there and that I had died, then they’d really regret not saying anything.”