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1 Die Votes
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Published July 07, 2014

Job Title: Snack Stand Worker at Triplet Pools

Characters:Wendy Freshner: Having been fired from her last job at the movie complex, she has taken a worse possible choice
Canada O’Jeefe: She has taken a job as a life guard.
Carlos Quezno Junior: (For more information on Carlos Junior, please read sketch number three.)

EX: Triplet Pools Snack Stand.

Wendy is busy serving a young girl a ice cream cone.

Wendy
That will be three fifty.

The little girl hands over the money that is sticky from the ice cream cone. She leaves happily licking.

Wendy
(Grossed out) Thanks. Ugh. Why do these kids always pay me with the ice cream hand?

Candy is staggering to get to the stand.

Candy
Need….Water….you will pay if you do not give me a gallon of water.

Wendy
(Laughing) You are a life guard, you would think you will be plenty hydrated.

Candy
(Growling) Just hand me a bottle of water.

Wendy grabs a bottle of water from below.

Wendy
Man you look roasted, you sure you can handle this?

Candy
No talking until I get that damn bottle!

Wendy hands over the bottle. Candy tilts her head back and guzzle down all the water in one swing.

Wendy
You could of offered me some of the water.

Candy
You could of grabbed your own bottle.

Wendy
No freebies allowed gal. Why do you think I am sweating bullets for?

Candy
Because you are standing in an non air-condition hot box?

Wendy
In any case, that’s why you owe me a dollar fifty for the bottle water produced by Coke Cola. The freshest water bottle around.

Candy
Okay seriously, I know your Dad works for Coke Cola. That does not mean i need to hear free advertising whenever you are near the products.

Wendy
Whatever. Now cough up the money.

Candy
Now you see if you happened to have a loaded father who is the owner of this fine establishment, you get freebies.

Wendy
Can one’s best friend be in on the action?

Candy
Non family members are not implied for the job perks.

Wendy
Come on I gave you that water bottle.

Candy
Well…

A loud whistle is blown from the distance. Carlos Junior walks in the scene. He is wearing a life guard uniform.

Carlos Junior
Penalty for being too hot to be here without giving me a smooch, señorita?

Wendy
What the hell are you doing in that uniform Carlos Junior?

Candy
Doesn’t he work here?

Carlos Junior
Si you sweetest thing.

Candy begins to giggle. Candy begins to drink her water bottle.

Wendy
(Deadpanned) He’s fifteen years old.

Candy does a spit take and sprays Wendy all over.

Wendy
Ugh. Seriously?!

Candy
(Horrified) You told me you were seventeen years old!

Wendy
Don’t tell me you slept with him.

Candy
What, no! I just made out with him a little bit. What do you think of me as some sort of slut.

Wendy
You just met him today didn’t you?

Candy
He said he was the new lifeguard! You know I am just getting over Trey!

Wendy
By making out with the first man you saw. Where is your head? did you forget to bring your brain this morning or something?

Carlos Junior
Ladies, ladies, there is no reason to fight over me.

Wendy
(Disgusted) We are not fighting over a squirt like you.

Carlos Junior
But babe, you would not meet anyone who is as awesome as me.

Wendy sighs and gets out her cell phone.

Wendy
You see this phone, I have Nurse Obama’s phone number on it.

Carlos Junior immediately pales and gulps audibly.

Wendy
Ah, you remember the nurse from the camp you and I got kicked out of huh?

Carlos Junior
You would not call the señora with the killer scissors, will you?

Wendy
I might, if you get out of that life guard uniform in the next five minutes.

Carlos shrugs, and slowly pulls down his swim trunks. Wendy immediately covers her eyes.

Wendy
Not here, God take them off in the dressing room.

Carlos Junior slowly starts to smirk and then head towards the dressing room area.

Candy
Uh Wendy, Carlos Junior is heading off to the Woman’s Dressing room.

Wendy
(Grins evilly) Exactly.

We hear Carlos Junior scream in the background.

Carlos Junior
AAH! Nurse Obama!

Carlos Junior runs back in the scene and continues on running.

Candy
I thought she went to Mexico?

Wendy
(Laughs) That is her twin sister. She often comes here to pick up guys.

Candy
I guess working in blinding heat is not so bad after all, plenty of entertainment. Catch you later?

Wendy
For the price of the entertainment I get your freebies as well.

Candy
It’s a done deal girl!

End of sketch.

Written by: Kelly Brotman
Date: July 07/07/2014
Sketch #11

Wendy Freshner Summer Jobs

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