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October 26, 2016
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This would have to be like full-on Barb.

I’m not that optimistic he will do it, but in the off chance he does, I would totally maybe consider voting for him. Don’t get me wrong: It doesn’t erase anything he’s said or done during this election or before it or anything, but it would be a step in the right direction. Especially if he, like, really owned it.

Of course, he shouldn’t do it just because I want to see it. It would be great if he did. But regardless of my personal interest, I also think it is the best move he can make for himself. With the extremely limited time he has left until the election, this may be the only “October surprise” that could actually move the needle.

Think about it: What are some of the major criticisms of Trump?

He’s out of touch. But Trump dressed as Barb is clearly in touch.

He can’t take a joke. But Trump dressed as Barb obviously can take a joke.

In terms of key Republican demographics, his crucial mistake ended up being alienating educated white women. But Barb is like the mascot of educated white women.

He does not respect or care about marginalized people. But, if you think about it, Barb was really marginalized in the show, like kind of unbelievably so. And clearly Trump dressed as Barb cares about her.

I’m no statistician, but I bet if Donald Trump went as Barb for Halloween, those election forecasts would easily go from like an 86.3% chance of a Hillary victory to like 86.1%. Probably even high 85’s if Trump posted a picture of himself in his costume sitting alone on a diving board.

And to be clear, I’m not saying I’m definitely voting for him if he does this. I’m not saying probably voting for him either. I’m not even saying I would consider voting for him. What I’m saying is, I might consider voting for Donald Trump if he dresses up like Barb from Stranger Things. And I think you should too.

But no half-assing it. This would have to be like full-on Barb. Barb glasses. Barb jeans. Barb hair. The whole deal. There are going to be a lot of Barbs out there this year. Trump’s would have to be one of the very best.

On a related note, what do you think is more likely: Trump being president or Trump knowing who Barb from Stranger Things is? I think probably the president thing, which I guess is maybe good news for him.

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