Are you the parent of a teen and has that teenager been acting strangely lately? It’s probably just their awakening sexuality and I’m going to handle this delicately but with fondness—-because we’ve all been through it.
Let me start off by saying you’re either the kind of parent who is repelled by sex or who embraces it as a natural part of living. Let’s get one thing straight right now. I’m not advocating you impart in your teen the idea that it’s alright to seek dangerous sex with out-of-wedlock people (even though many of us do it) which is wrong and immoral.
On the other hand, if you think your teen is developing sexually DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT degrade them about it or shame them about it because it’s a fact of life.
WE ALL DO IT!
I think there must be a happy MEDIUM.
Give your teen a MemoryTag card telling them you love them and congratulate them in a subtle way for their emerging adulthood, developing hormones and sexual desire (you don’t say this you just say welcome to growing up).
This kind of card you see here from MemoryTag (above) might be appropriate:
DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT! I repeat do not do as my mother did when I locked myself in the bathroom for long periods of time and shriek and pound on the door and then when I came out pound on my chest with her fists.
I should have said to her, “Oh I get it. You want me to stay eight years old for the rest of my life right? Let me see……I can’t understand why a sixteen-year-old boy such as myself, who is at the peak of sexual potency…..whose body is raging with hormones….who’s never experienced anything like this before…….this feeling of lust. Why should I want to explore it?
I should just walk around filling up with sperms until they come out my ears, right?
Is that what God intended me to have, this thing between my legs for? To not use it?
You and Dad did it, didn’t you? You had me.
Oh maybe you didn’t enjoy it, is that it?“ (I don’t recommend any teenager say this to their mother especially not to someone like my mother). When she was angry she could find more ways to make my life miserable.
There has to be a way to celebrate emerging sexuality in a dignified happy and proud way instead of the old-fashioned way of shame and double-standard hypocrisy.
Let me recount my own experience.
All my life I have had tremendous sexual energy. Lust that’s been hard to work off. If this Olympian type carnality could have been properly harnessed… I would have been like King Solomon.
With five hundred descendants.
And God help the world if that was the case. One of me is enough.
When you lust all the time, let’s face it, even for the luckiest of us, Brad Pitt for example. I don’t care who you are, there’s only limited opportunities to expunge it.
But it has to be expelled somehow.
This has led to some extremely embarrassing moments. My parents, like most parents of the Baby Boom generation, taught me shame of the human body and sexuality….even though they had me, and my sister.
I got my first orgasm doing chin-ups on a glass shower stall.
I had been feeling queer lately (not gay). I was sixteen. Or maybe, fourteen. What else do you do with your spare time when you’re fourteen in 1964…except chin-ups? Like every day in P.E.
I decided to do a little exercise in the shower. So I did chin-ups flat up against a glass shower door (gripping a metal bar overhead). My developing male organ was, how can I put it delicately,making up and down contact with the glass.
Suddenly, I felt very good. The best I’d ever felt in my life to be exact. Gee! I said. These chin-ups sure are certainly pleasant today for some reason. I wonder why? Like, it’s the easiest set of chin-ups I’ve ever done.
I just, can’t seem to stop doing them.
Oh, this is great. I’ve just set my own personal best record for doing chin-ups. Why is it I don’t feel tired? Why is it I can do so many of these? Am I superman? What’s going on?
And then, POWWWW!
"Wow!” I shouted.“What is that?”
The rest is history.
Suddenly, to no great surprise, chin-ups became my favorite sport. Chin-ups in the shower. Not regular outside chin-ups. I started taking five showers a day. I had never in my life been so clean.
My parents were puzzled.
I became a chin-up swinger, a lothario, a clean-freak nymphomaniac.
“I think I’ll take a shower,” I told my mother.
“You just took one two hours ago,” she would say. “Okay. What’s going on?”
Sex is like a narcotic. The more you do it, the more you want, and you have to expand, enlarge the experience. I decided to move up a notch and to start the action this time with a sexy costume, the only one I had at the time…my PE jockstrap.
Like a stripper, I would remove this after a few chin-ups…and…you know the rest.
I was doing the first set of chin-ups, the hot water running, really getting into it…and the door burst open and my parents came storming in (this was before drug problems with teens).
I was caught red-handed…or rather..hand over head.
I could have easily told them,“Hey! I’m practicing for the Olympic Games.”
It wouldn’t have worked. Whatever you do when you’re sixteen, they assume it’s dirty.
But they couldn’t stop me from taking showers.
The sessions continued.
I should have gotten a card saying “Congratulations!”
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