Celebrities See All

Close

Quick Links

or
Published September 23, 2009 More Info »
0 Funny Votes
0 Die Votes
75 Views
Published September 23, 2009

Bigger Fish to Fry

Jim McPartland

www.funnyordie.com/jbmcpart

 

Since 9/13, there have been approximately 150 murders in the US and 27 soldiers killed in Afghanistan.

But the only one that the news media has swarmed in on like drones on a Queen Bee in heat is that of Anne Le- the Yale Grad student found in her lab building behind a wall strangled.

It’s horrible- don’t get me wrong. She was young, was found the same day she was to be married, and was on her way to being a scientist that might figure a cure to who knows what.

But there is no way in holy-fucking-hell it should get this much coverage.

Like vultures, the news figures we love rubber necking at car crashes- so true murder mysteries are a ratings extravaganza. And it does have the makings of a CSI episode because they couldn’t find her body at first.

But the exposure this case is getting is way beyond logic when we have so many other problems daily.

I haven’t even watched that much news in the last week, but every single time I turned it on—there was Anne-- first missing-- plot thickens-- we see her go in the building but not out. She skipped her General Tso’s Chicken for lunch that day.

 

I’m not Sherlock Holmes, but that already means her killer had access to a secure building. Yale does know how to keep riff-raff animal lovers like me out as I’d be freeing the mice they use to test into the streets and giving them such a verbal tongue lashing on animal research that they’d turn in their degrees and flee to the forest to save Bambi.

 

It wasn’t until the morning of 9/17, while at the gym around 7 a.m., I see the latest update- that her accused killer would be arrested that day- a 24 year lab technician, Raymond Clark, who looks like the boy next door[1].

I’m, like, what the fuck? Do we not have anything better to do with our time?

That was ABC reporting live. Switch to NBC--same thing—CBS—no--it’s not--- OMG! Them too? All at once? The motel they were taking him in at must have looked like the Neverland Ranch not too long ago with satellite trucks, cotton candy, and “Save Ray” tees (one size fits all).

From a judicial perspective, how is Mr. Clark supposed to get a fair trial? I know he’s guilty as hell- and I am mildly curious about the motive. He’s a psycho who only got the job because his sister works there. Yale wouldn’t hire me, but heaven forbid the most prestigious collegiate institution in our country should spend a little cash on personality/psychological profiles, huh? Christ, I’ve had to take them to sell hot tubs—but, no, his sister can speak for him? I bet Le’s family phone is ringing off the hook with lawyers looking to take that wrongful death case.

Yale, my advice is don’t let a first year law grad handle that one for you. And Johnny Cochrane’s dead.

And the writers at Law & Order SUV must have had a really easy week-- change a couple names-- cast Kim McBride as poor Annie-- Dave Sirius as Ray (I know, Dave, you’re not the killer type, but you got those Ted B good looks!)-- And Amy Phillips as “Dr. Webb”. Or maybe she can do Rachel Zoe at the scene reporting-- the possibilities are endless.

Had anyone not heard this?

 

 “I always said Ray Clark was a fucked up dick”



[1] So did Ted Bundy.

Advertisement
Advertisement

From Around the Web

More