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June 26, 2017

The Segway is Michael Stipe's Phoenix, bursting from the ashes of the conflagration that was R.E.M.

Michael Stipe likes to get around but unfortunately he dislikes moving his legs . When he dances or awkwardly flails it appears as though his legs are almost still.

Go Stipe go!

In 2002, when the Segway was released, Stipe felt at home for once in his life. The Segway set him free, free to move about without moving his legs.The Segway was Michael Stipe’s Phoenix, bursting from the ashes of the conflagration that was R.E.M. Stipe has roamed the world and beyond upon his mighty Segway. All the while he’s been collecting a special list of his favorite Segway Adventures.

Recently Stipe got off of his Segway and began creating new music once again. He co-wrote Fischerspooner’s new albulm; SIR. He also co-produced this record with BeyoncĂ©’s producer, Boots. The album “Sir"is set to be released on September 22nd along with an art exhibit in Sienna, a book of artwork, and a complete list of his Secret Segway Adventures. As a teaser, on June 19th Fischerspooner released a sneak peak of the new album; "Have Fun Tonight”(see video below).


Fans are very excited!

Stipe also released three of his Favorite Secret Segway Adventures from the soon to be released list. The complete list will be available to fans on September 22nd with the new album he wrote and Co-Produced for Fischerspooner. Here are the three Secret Segway Adventures that he released.

Adventure #1 - Gridlock in Los Angeles


If you think you’ve had too much

As Stipe leads you through the gridlock of Los Angeles he reminds you that we all feel very alone in our cars. However, from the view of your Segway, you can gaze upon the obscenity that is the human soul and truly grasp the ubiquity of emotion in all of it’s raw form. Stipe will lead you from car to car and show you how emotionally confined humanity is.

Adventure #2 - Judgment Night (with KRS One)


DJ sucks, it makes me sad…

Back in 1991 Michael Stipe and KRS-One got together and made one of the first Ever Rock-Rap Hybrid songs called “Radio Song.” It was on R.E.M.‘s album “Out of Time.” The song had questionable reviews and later Stipe said that he hoped everyone had enough sense of humor to realize that he was “kind of taking the piss of everyone,"himself included. See for yourself:

(Say what?)

Two years later, in 1993 a movie came out called Judgment Night about some normal guys getting chased around Cleveland by Dennis Leary for some reason. The original soundtrack was composed of other Rock-Rap Hybrids like Pearl Jam\Cypress Hill among many other collaborators. KRS-One and Michael Stipe, the obvious creators of the Rock-Rap Hybrid were NOT included in this soundtrack.

On this Segway Adventure Stipe and KRS-One show you the places where this cool movie was shot and talk about how neat it would have been to have their song on that soundtrack. Sometimes Dennis Leary is cool enough to show up and chase you crazy kids around Cleveland on his Segway, just like in the movie, but only on Segways.

Adventure #3 - Into Your Soul

SmugTour copy.jpg

(look within and unify yourself)

Although you probably don’t realize this, you are authentic. Stipe will restore you. Stipe will enter you with his Segway, clean you and make you love yourself again. Stipe takes a long hard look at your personal life. Watch the trials of your life zoom passed you from your Segway as Stipe acknowledges them and forgives you. When the tour is done is you will know that you are loved, shiny and happy.

Those are just three of Michael Stipe’s Secret Segway Adventures. They’ll all be available for booking September 22nd. Come experience these adventures and more. The Segway will change your life. Experience true freedom, or at the very least, with your legs nestled tightly together on a Segway, you can get around for a day without your butt plug falling out.