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September 09, 2014

I could be a trailer truck driver, sure.

Trailer Truck Driver

I could be a trailer truck driver, sure. I like coffee. I like sitting. I like the open road. Yeah, I could be a trailer truck driver, sure I could.

I like Americana. I like camaraderie with older, burly men. I like solitary nights to think about life. Yeah sure, I could be a trailer truck driver, sounds right up my alley.

I like investigating UFOs in my off time, well sure. I like sneaking into high security military bases across the heartland, who doesn’t? I like stopping the government from taking me hostage and making me a trial specimen for intergalactic, inter-species mating, sure. Seems like trailer truck driver is the life for me. Sure I could do it.

I like summoning Native American rain gods through dance, yeah. I like manipulating a war between Native American rain gods and the allied forces of the US government and interstellar visitors, of course I do. I like knowing that when it comes down to it, I’m soon to be one of the most powerful people on the planet. Oh yeah, it’s about time I become a trailer truck driver.

I like creating a rival organization to the free masons called the pay masons where you have to pay small monthly dues, and we don’t just let anyone in for free, yeah that’s right. I like moderating internet forums about the illuminati from laptops left out in Starbucks while their owners are using the bathroom, as to hide my IP address, is that such a stretch? So yeah, I could be a trailer truck driver. Plus, I like those hats. And gay sex.