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August 06, 2011

This months blog titled "stand up and Stenhousemuir Slappers

Ok so another month has passed and i have been a busy boy .Not that any of you really know because i kept it pretty much a secrete only a few have been told or threw means out of my control have found out. I have been at a stand up course which culminated in a showcase last night the 1st .

I remembered all my set and people laughed so i guess it went well but all i remember was shitting myself but it was enjoyable.

But this month there is no bitch as such but something very interesting happened i think you'll like.

So i was walking back to work after lunch one day when from across the road i heard someone shout at me. So i look across the road to see a typical mother of stenhousemuir. In her 20's ,overweight pushing a pram with two other kids beside her.

She then asked a series of questions and it went exactly     like this .

Lassie- Ho Where you going?

me- To work

lassie -where do you work ?

Me- The butchers 

lassie - What butchers?

me- The one down the street

lassie- what do you do at the butchers?

me- Im a butcher.

wait for it here it comes.

lassie- can i pump you !!!!

Now i better explain for some people. Around my area pump is a slang term shag or sex generally dirty dirty sex.

Now obviously i said no but it shows the level of slapperism( yea i just invented a word ) And one thought i had about this. Where have all the slutty girls came from?

This is something i never came across when i was single don't get me wrong i would've still said no to that lassie but i live near a high school and for some reason all the girls seem to be dressing up like a slutty secretary which is just wrong, I mean where were they when i was at school .I just remember being surrounded by reasonably dressed women and the others dressed in track suits.

So my final thought is all generations of men that are no longer at school have been screwed over royally as we have to go threw the process of having to ask our other halves to dress like that even though in high schools all over the country little boys are getting it handed on a platter ,which is a shame since they don't know what to do with it.

Well until next month be happy and go to the edinburgh festival if you can as its just fucking awesome.

Junior Ginger Pie