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January 19, 2016

It ain't the zinnias, I'll tell ya that.

Houston! We have a garden!

Astronaut Scott Kelley has grown the first flower in space, which in turn is the first flower grown in zero gravity. This is very cool.

But before we get too carried away, lets’s think about why it’s very cool. Growing a flower on it’s own is not particularly cool. It’s nice, but it isn’t something you brag about to your peers. It’s more along the lines of something you mention to your mother when convincing her you’re a responsible adult. “I’m still on your cellphone account, but I’ve kept a plant alive for six weeks.”

What’s cool is going to space. And that brings us to the deeper truth in Astronaut Kelly’s accomplishment, which is no matter what he does, he’ll be doing it in space and that is rad as all hell. This news could have been, “Astronaut Scott Kelley gets a wedgie in zero gravity” and it’d be headline worthy. Being uncool outside of earth’s atmosphere neutralizes the objectionable action.

We’ve only been in space for fifty something years, which gives us tons of opportunities for firsts. All of those firsts are going to be cool, no matter what. Let’s all congratulate Astronaut Kelly on his dope garden, sure, but make sure to emphasize it’s a dope garden in space.