Because having Prime is the only way you’ll be able to get any of these deals….
6 month free trial for College Kids
You’ll be drowning in student loans and debt for the rest of your life, so why not get a 6 month free trial and buy a bunch of shit you don’t need cause you’re screwed anyway?
Ring Video Doorbell
ME: Ding Dong
YOU: Who’s There?
ME: The Ring Video Doorbell Pro! This product works with Alexa, which means you can see, hear and speak to anyone at your door from your smartphone, tablet or PC. So, HARD PASS to answering the front door for your neighbor who is always asking to borrow a cup of sugar. BUY YOUR OWN, MRS. JOHNSON. JESUS CHRIST!
BCOZZY Chin Supporting Pillow
We’ve all been there. You’re on an airplane. Stuck in the middle seat. The dude on your right took your armrest and the lady on your left won’t stop yapping. What’s a poor soul to do? Buy the BCOZZY Extra Large Chin Supporting Travel Pillow, of course! Not only is this product way comfortable, but you also kind of look like you have a snake as a neck brace, and honestly, there’s nothing more badass than that.
Fire TV Stick
Give Mom and Dad (or yourself) the gift of one remote that does everything. Because having 17 different remotes is so 1998*.
*1998: Included, but not limited to: eating bagel bites, watching The Oprah Winfrey Show after school, crippling self doubt, anxiety and depression, butterfly clips.
Not only does this bad boy let you call or message anyone you’d like, but it also controls lights, fans, TVs, and switches AND works on its own as a smart alarm clock. Plus you can ask Alexa to play “Sailing” by Christopher Cross as many times as you’d like, which we think is an extra bonus you *truly* can’t put a price on.
Senso Bluetooth Earbuds
The Senso Bluetooth Earbuds have a new and improved lithium polymer battery, which allows seamless enjoyment of music for up to 8 hours, and 240 hours stand-by with a quick charge of only 1.5 hours. And by seamless enjoyment of music, we mean playing “Sailing” by Christopher Cross for 8 hours straight.
Fire HD 8 Tablet
They don’t call it the Fire Tablet for no reason. 12 hours of battery life, 1.5 GB of RAM, and Dolby Audio, this next generation tablet is even more durable than the latest iPad. With access to Netflix, HBO, Spotify and Showtime, you’ll never be bored again. Plus, Prime members get unlimited access to over a thousand books and magazines, millions of songs* and thousands of movies and TV episodes - at no additional cost.
* “Sailing” by Christopher Cross
Nintendo Switch Bundle
Look, the Nintendo Switch doesn’t give you the ability to hear “Sailing” by Christopher Cross, but it does enable gamers to play the same title wherever, whenever and with whomever they choose, so I guess that’s pretty cool too. Or whatever.
Nintendo New 3DS XL - Super NES Edition + Super Mario Kart for SNES
Do I need to play Super Mario Kart all day?
*extreme Mario voice*
Here we goooo!
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