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Additional Credits:
Keenan Verzuh, Matt McLaughlin
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Published May 17, 2013

 

The 'Cereal' Serial Killer Strikes AGAIN!!!

  Well, he's at it again. In a gruesome scene, Horatio Magellan Crunch, most famously known as CAP'N CRUNCH, was slain in his Venice Beach apartment. 
 
   Whitenesses say they heard no struggle, nor gun-shot. The apartment-complex had gone relatively undisturbed days prior but when tenants reported smelling "a sweet scent coming from the victims apartment," they made the call.
 
    The sweet smell is NOT uncommon, in fact most medical professionals have encountered the "sweet smell of death" before but this was described as more of a "berry scent."
 
    No DNA evidence was discovered, and while the suspected killer may have yet again escaped Scott free, the victim himself had been "scotch free" for a number of years, leading investigators to question his sponsor  and long time friend, Count Chocula. 
 
     The last grizzly and gory detail we wish to leave you the reader with, is this; Captain Crunches body was untouched and the scene left in good taste. No weapon was found but the apparent cause of death was -- multiple cuts to the roof of his mouth!!!
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