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February 22, 2017

" I don't understand why it's so hard for her to just switch things up a little bit and call me Kickflip Jones."

A month ago my brother got married to a woman who he loves a bunch. He’s super into her and shit. Anyway, they’re married now and that’s great but I’m about to lose it. All I’ve asked of my new sister in law is for her to stop calling me Jim and start calling me Kickflip Jones and she refuses to do it. I’ve honestly had it up to here. I’m about to freak out.
I thought that was the deal. I have to start calling her my sister in law so I get to pick a new name for myself. “This is my sister in law” “This is Kickflip Jones”. Seriously, how fucking difficult would that be to do? Is she just insane? If she said it once she’d see how simple it is. “Hi, this is Kickflip Jones.” It’s first fucking grade. Just say it, for crying out loud.
I talked to my brother about it and he thinks I’m being insane. Me. He thinks I am the one being insane. I don’t understand why it’s so hard for her to just switch things up a little bit and call me Kickflip Jones. I want to be called that. It would make me happy and I want to be called it. Her life would be exactly the same and I would be happy because she would be calling me the name I want to be called which is Kickflip Jones. “Oh, I’m not sure you’ve met. Jack, this is my sister in law.” I’m expected to say that and I’m fine with it. “Oh, I’m not sure you’ve met. Marygrace, this is Kickflip Jones.” It’d be so fucking simple to say that I’m almost embarrassed for her. I think she may just be an idiot or something. She seriously might be an idiot. It’s so easy to call me Kickflip Jones and I know that because I have been calling myself Kickflip Jones for years. It’s fucking insane to me. Hold on, I’m double parked.