It could happen.

I’ve got an entirely new idea how to use a MemoryTag greeting card.

You buy a card, any kind of card, it doesn’t matter; the natives don’t care what it says. It could be a birthday card or get well or happy graduation.

You write “Greetings” on the card and sign it, “From Your Chief.”

You put the card in an envelope but before you do that you take your smartphone and record a video message of yourself and place it on the card. MemoryTag cards have video capability.

For the video you jump around a lot and yell things like they sound like jungle language like “Uuummm-gowa, ooom-zee-zee, bwana-macumba, mon-oh-wanee, im-zee-zee,“ then you growl a lot. You place this video on the greeting card.

Then you put the card in the envelope and tie it to a large helium-filled balloon. You wait until a good wind is blowing and go out in your front yard and launch the balloon (and the envelope with the card).

It goes up in the air and goes up higher and higher. It goes real high because it is a large balloon.

The balloon heads south.

It could happen.

The balloon crosses the Mexican border at 20,000 feet, and then Central America and the Yucatan and keeps going.

It could happen.

The balloon crosses over the Amazon rain forest that part that has not yet been cut down and turned into condos. Over the impenetrable jungle the balloon flies. Finally the balloon comes down. It settles in a tree where a giant howler monkey finds it.

It could happen.

The monkey takes the envelope off the deflated balloon and carries it down to the ground. The monkey plays with the envelope for a while and then tires of it, and throws it aside to go search for a banana.

A member of a lost tribe of Amazon natives unknown to the modern world comes along looking for a chewy delectable freshwater gastropod to eat.

It could happen.

The native picks up the envelope and puzzled, feels it. The native places the envelope on the ground and kneels before it in supplication, then picks the envelope up and races with it back to his camp, a collection of thatched huts unknown to Western Man.

The native shouts “Oooooo-booowkooo-BeeBee-Re-bozo!”

Other native gather around and stare in astonishment at the envelope.

For a week the natives bring gifts of food, monkey brains, collected gnats nuts (testicles very small), roasted anteater penis and desiccated snake entrails with ground up enemy tribe liver hot sauce. The natives bring hand-held incense fires in tribute.

The envelope pops open because of the humidity.

The natives gasp. They inch forward toward the now-opened envelope.

They take out the MemoryTag greeting card.

They set it on the ground.

One of the natives has a smartphone dropped by a missionary from an airplane.

He tries to placate the card by pushing a button on the smartphone.

Your video on the card plays.

It could happen!

There you are giving your greeting, jumping around, waving your arms, yelling things like “Ooom-gowa, bwena-mcoomba, oomzee-zee, eeney-meanie-miny-moe, cut-me-some-slack!”

The natives drop to the ground on their knees and wail in unison, “Tssse-ooom-poooopa-powis-voomader-tee-tomasi-tranisiuc!” (“Our king,our long lost king!”).

Immediately, two natives are dispatched to find you and head north upriver in a dugout canoe.

Once they arrive in Bakersfield they walk up to your door and ring the doorbell. You answer the door and the natives take out the card with the smartphone and re-play your message. They look at the card and they look at you. They hold up the card playing your video next to your face.

The natives jump for joy.

They hug you and say, “Weeeo-mo-waaay!”

They take you with them.

It could happen.

Now you are in a dugout canoe paddling with your two new native friends. You reach their village deep in the hidden jungle. The natives bow is supplication before you. They rise and seat you in the biggest thatched hut in the village. They bring gifts of food,roasted aardvark, hallucinogenic snails to gobble, wild candied boar entrails, bartered sea slug piss (a hypoallergenic kind of tea), sap-soodle pickles made from fermenting them in live salamander grease guts.

Women of the village offer themselves to you to satisfy your every pleasure.

Here you can strip off your clothes and beat your chest.Here to you can run naked. Here you can ask anybody to do anything. It’s kind of like being the president.

Everything your mother told you not to do—— you can now do.

It could happen.

MemoryTag cards are a fraction the cost of store-bought cards. MemoryTag is the card that says just about everything from happy birthday to get well cards, graduation cards, Mother’s and Father’s Day cards, sympathy cards, weddings, anniversary cards, funny cards, weird cards, Valentine’s Day cards, thank you cards, all of them a fraction of the cost of a store-bought card.