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Published October 21, 2011

Fraternities misrepresented by mascots large testicles.

Fort Collins, CO- Colorado State University's Greek Council members petitioned yesterday, gathering signatures from various Greek fraternity members in hope of dismissing the schools own mascot Cam the Ram. According to Greek Council leaders, Cam’s massive nuts have misrepresented the schools fraternities for decades.

 One senior fraternity member, who has asked to remain nameless, stated, “Cam’s balls are distorting our perception of normal genitalia size. He’s portraying an unrealistic set of nads, which has caused a lot of disappointment amongst sorority members who are left unimpressed by our much smaller balls.”

During yesterdays petition over 500 less endowed Greeks inked their signatures in support. Out of the 23 fraternities represented at Colorado State University, all were present at the event except for the schools black fraternity.

 The Board of Governors will be reviewing the petition next week and a decision will be announced before semesters end. The Greek Council hopes the Board will agree to replace Cam as the schools mascot or at least remove his family jewels.

Calls were placed to Cam the Ram for comment, but he was unable to answer as he has hooves for hands.

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