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September 21, 2011

An inmate on death row can ask for whatever they want for their last meal. So why doesn't anyone ask for a never ending pasta bowl?

-Hey, are we executing anyone today?

-Yeah, that guy who killed those children is getting the electric chair.

-When is it happening? 

-It was supposed to happen tonight at 7.  

-What do you mean?

-You know how every inmate on death row gets a last meal of their choosing?


-Well, this guy requested the one thing we don’t want them to ask for.

-No… you’re not saying—

-I’m afraid so.  He asked for a never ending pasta bowl.

-Dear God.  He beat the system.  No one’s ever done that before.

-It’s almost as if he committed the crime solely to expose this loophole.

-What are we going to do?

-We’ve tried everything but he won’t budge.  Unless we can convince him to change his order he’ll spend the rest of his life eating pasta.   

-Remember a few years back when that guy chose Old Country Buffet?  I thought that was impressive and it only bought him a few extra hours.  But this… this is genius.

-Have you seen the latest Olive Garden commercial?

-Those people have the worst sense of humor.  I’d rather kill myself than eat with them. 

-No, the one about how they now offer seven pastas and six sauces.  That means he has 42 combinations to choose from.

-You could eat that for years without ever getting sick of it.  And doesn’t it come with unlimited salad and breadsticks?

-I think you’re right.  Damn, he’s good.

-It says it all in the name, too.  ”Never ending.”  We really dropped the ball on this one.

-Hold on.  I think I have an idea.  

Thirty minutes later.

-What’d you do to make him ask for a burger and fries?  

-I had one of the families from the Olive Garden commercials show up and sit at his table.   

-Good thinking.    

-That was close.  He almost had us.    

-Yeah.  It’s a good thing those people are so annoying.