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Published August 13, 2008 More Info »
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Published August 13, 2008

I was thinking today about what would be my specialty if I ever went into medical field. Now don’t get too worried FunBox fans, I’m not saying that I am leaving comedy forever to go to med school, this is purely a hypothetical. After much debating between brain surgeon and vagina doctor, I struck upon the perfect job for me. I want to be the nurse that ushers the loved ones out of the room.

They are the unsung heroes of the emergency room. You see them in every medical show out there. A poor woman is going into lung failure because her spleen is actually her twin sisters and her husband is yelling over the persistent beeping of the machines, “What’s happening to her? Is she going to be o.k.?” It is at that point that the devastatingly good looking medical team pushes him out of the way and says, “Somebody get him out of here!” That’s when I would spring into action. Swiftly I would gently push him towards the door, sliding the curtain close, separating him, possibly forever, from his loved one. “We’re going to need you to wait here, sir,” I would tell him firmly but kindly. Then knowing I had done my part, I would head to the next emergency ready to shove another worried confused family member out of the way.

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