February 6th, 2016
Chappaqua, NEW YORK- Bill Clinton was rushed to an area hospital Friday after a near fatal, early morning coyote attack reports the Chappaqua Tribune Times Daily Globe Gazette.
Deep gashes and teeth marks were visible on the former president as he was brought by ambulance from the Clinton estate where the coyote attack took place. When rescue officials found Clinton, he was laying on the bedroom floor of the couple’s stately home in lower Chappaqua. When asked, Clinton did not have an answer for how the coyotes could have entered the secure compound.
“The wounds suffered by Mr. Clinton are indeed consistent to those made by a medium size, carnivorous, animal,” says Dr. Maraj Ptelomneda. “While likely caused by a coyote, a dog or perhaps a bobcat, we still cannot dismiss Hillary as a suspect.” Hundreds of stitches and multiple sutures were required to close gaping wounds across his back, his abdomen and around his buttocks.
Mrs. Clinton has been unavailable to comment and has been temporarily detained by the Chappaqua County Police Department until detectives can determine her role, if any, in this bizarre turn of events. A request was made to obtain a search warrant and subpoena Mrs. Clinton’s dental records as forensic teams try to determine if the bite patterns found on his body were indeed from a coyote and not caused by the former first lady herself.
The Chappaqua Police have been called to the Clinton residence dozens of times for domestic issues and Bill has been photographed having bruises that he dismisses as injuries resulting from a bicycle accident or from “falling down the stairs.” Close friends report that Bill Clinton lives in constant fear of his wife and that this recent “coyote attack” could be a sign that the stresses of running for president have amplified the temper of the already notoriously short fused Hillary.
Many experts believe that this latest attack incident will get swept under the rug like the many that came before. Many people concerned for Clinton’s well being have expressed fear that Mrs. Clinton may eventually kill Bill in a fit of rage brought on by the pressures of her campaign. For the time being, there is little anyone can do to help as friends and loved ones sit back helplessly and hope for the best.