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This originally appeared at Carroll ünd Klinger.

Lucy Zayon <cupcake8301@hotmail.com>
Hey guys,

BREAKING BAD IS BACK THIS SUNDAY! That means it’s time for our weekly potluck!  You know the drill: this is a roll call. Let me know what you’re bringing. Can’t wait to see you guys this weekend!!!

xoxo,
Lucy

Richard Larason <richandtinalarason@verizon.com>
Tina and I will make the guac as usual :-) Please tell me that Dom is bringing fish tacos!!!

Ellen Burgess <ellen.burgess@temple.edu>
I’ll bring the whiskey. We don’t need anything else.

Steve Bowes <sbow137@aol.com>
Two for one deal on Bagel Bites at Giant! I’ll bring 4 boxes!

Patrick O’Brien <purepob@gmail.com>
I’ll bring the meth!

Dan Plazchek <da_donk@yahoo.com>
Too funny, Pat :) I’ll bring some soda: Dr. Pepper & Mountain Dew, most likely. Speak up if you want anything else!

Ellen Burgess <ellen.burgess@temple.edu>
LOL, Pat! Or should we call you Heisenberg? LMAO!

Richard Larason <richandtinalarason@verizon.com>
If POB’s bringing the methamphetamine, I’ll bring the bug bomb tent ;)

Steve Bowes <sbow137@aol.com>
You guys are too funny. Richard and Pat, you two should be a comedy duo :D

Patrick O’Brien <purepob@gmail.com>
Why do you guys think I’m kidding?

Tara Mahoney <tmahoney@philadelphia.gov>
LOL Pat you’re such a card. Sorry I’m late to the email party. I’ll bring Doritos.

Dan Plazchek <da_donk@yahoo.com>
Since Pat wants to get a buzz on, I’ll scrap the soda and bring some Miller Lite. Or should I call it Schraderbraü? :P

Patrick O’Brien <purepob@gmail.com>
Listen, I don’t know how I can make this any plainer: I met a guy who sells meth under the Market-Frankford. I can buy a teenth for Sunday. I can think of no finer way to kick off the last season.

Steve Bowes <sbow137@aol.com>
ROFLMAO

Ellen Burgess <ellen.burgess@temple.edu>
You take the Market-Frankford too??? Why don’t we ride together?????

Tara Mahoney <tmahoney@philadelphia.gov>
Okay, Pat, joke’s getting old. We don’t have any greens yet. Can you bring a veggie tray?

Lucy Zayon <cupcake8301@hotmail.com>
I was going to surprise you guys, but to calm Pat down: I’m making my own meth!  A.K.A. Blue Rock Candy!!!

Patrick O’Brien <purepob@gmail.com>
You mean to tell me that none of you guys ever watch this show and wonder what it would be like to try the crystal?

Dan Plazchek <da_donk@yahoo.com>
I just called Pat to see if he’d been hacked. He sounds serious, you guys.

Lucy Zayon <cupcake8301@hotmail.com>
Patrick!!!!! My dad’s a security guard. You can’t seriously want to bring meth into my home.

Richard Larason <richandtinalarason@verizon.com>
You guys, they’re messing with us. Just ignore them. Hey Dom: where are you? What’s the status of those fish tacos?

Dan Plazchek <da_donk@yahoo.com>
Seriously, Pat REALLY wants to try it. He just texted me a photo of his new pipe.

Patrick O’Brien <purepob@gmail.com>
I’ve already tried it, so it’s a used pipe. I want you guys to join me on peanut butter jelly time. :~~~~P

Ellen Burgess <ellen.burgess@temple.edu>
You know what? Fuck it, I’m in. Let’s do this.

Lucy Zayon <cupcake8301@hotmail.com>
ELLEN: NO. NO. NO. Anyone doing meth is uninvited.

Dan Plazchek <da_donk@yahoo.com>
So, wait, is this really happening then? Pat?

Patrick O’Brien <purepob@gmail.com>
Hey guys, I’d like to invite everyone over to my place on Sunday night for a Meth Potluck. I’ll supply the meth. You guys supply your noses.

Ellen Burgess <ellen.burgess@temple.edu>
Wait, are we snorting? I think I want to smoke it my first time.

Steve Bowes <sbow137@aol.com>
Sorry, guys. I’m sticking with Lucy’s party. I’m already addicted to something … Richard’s guacamole!

Lucy Zayon <cupcake8301@hotmail.com>
GOOD. I’m glad Pat and Ellen are having their own potluck. Feel free to come over when you COME TO YOUR SENSES!!!

Tara Mahoney <tmahoney@philadelphia.gov>
I wanted to see everyone :( Is there any way Pat and Ellen can come over before they do meth, then leave when they need to get high???

Dan Plazchek <da_donk@yahoo.com>
I just googled how to smoke meth. Pat, do you have a needle and a syringe? I think I’d like to try “slamming” it, as they say.

Ellen Burgess <ellen.burgess@temple.edu>
Where’d you read about that? I probably need to do some research too.

Richard Larason <richandtinalarason@verizon.com>
We’re going to Pat’s party! I know it’s crazy but I think I need to see this for myself.

Dan Plazchek <da_donk@yahoo.com>
Ellen: just go to www.tweaker.org. Super helpful.

Steve Bowes <sbow137@aol.com>
RICHARD!!! Are you bringing guac to Pat’s?

Lucy Zayon <cupcake8301@hotmail.com>
OMG YOU GUYS! WHAT THE HELL!?!!!?

Richard Larason <richandtinalarason@verizon.com>
Steve: If it’s OK with Pat, then yes.

Patrick O’Brien <purepob@gmail.com>
I bet guac tastes even better when you’re flailing on shards.

Steve Bowes <sbow137@aol.com>
OK, I’ll go to where the guac is. Sorry, Lucy.

Tara Mahoney <tmahoney@philadelphia.gov>
I think that’s everyone? OK, I’ll go to Pat’s. You could come too, Lucy.  

Lucy Zayon <cupcake8301@hotmail.com>
GUYS THIS IS PEER PRESSURE THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT THEY TOLD US NOT TO DO IN SCHOOL

Patrick O’Brien <purepob@gmail.com>
Lucy, you’re not invited. You’ll be too much of a drag, yo.

Lucy Zayon <cupcake8301@hotmail.com>
AM I SUPPOSED TO WATCH BREAKING BAD ALONE?

Dom Johnson <fatdom@aol.com>
Hey guys, sorry I’m late to the party. Do I still need to bring fish tacos to Pat’s, or are we good?

This originally appeared at Carroll ünd Klinger.

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