Those Were Different Times Contest #75

Those Were Different Times Contest #75

Introducing: "A SOUL STIRRING SERMON BY REV. DR. JAMES WADE THE WHOLE CHURCH SHOULD GET DRUNK"
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after much ado and some more ado and a crapload of a wait, and some help from our helpful helping theDIRTYmidget, bloggydom is back online
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And the Obscure Character Actor From The Late 60's" Award goes to:
Special reading by Foster Brooks.
-drwho

And the "Hmm, I Hadn't Thought Of It But Now That You Mention It, Yeah I Can See That" Award goes to:
He looks more like Eddie Murphy the more I drink
-buttermilk

And the "Best Funk Vocal Solo Set To Organ Music With A Deep Bass Rhythm" Award goes to:
Marijuana's real adversary shall be revealed as a prophet and a pusher, a walking contradiction with a liquid bent on fiction
-ian Renga

9. Hail Mary full of wine...
-mervin97

8. My favorite song is Gin and Jews
-missalicia

7.5. No one's missed a service in seventeen years
7. The Reverend has 86 proof of the existence of God
-keibar

6. Dr. Wade don't believe in no moderation shit!
-joeleethree

5.5. Jesus turned this water to wine, let's turn wine to piss
5. Watch Dr. James wade in a pool of his own sermon...
-spase

"4.75. Except the organ player. I hate drunken organ playing."
4.5. "Let's Imbible..."
4. "...and then jump in they car and drive real fast. Don't worry, just let the Lord take the wheel."
-JBnteh217

3.75. The whole church SHOULD get drunk if it'll make those lame-assed bible quotes in any way more inspiring
3.5. ... And by 'Live', they mean 'Shit-faced'
3. His career didn't take off until he changed 'Wade' to 'Brown' and 'Get Drunk' to 'Smoke Crack And Shoot At Its Wife's Car'.
-theDIRTYmidget

2. Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy,Bitch
-bigjas

1.5. "Can I get a witness? And by 'witness', I mean a rail of cocaine."

1. Your young men shall see visions,
your old men shall dream dreams
then we all come together
& shit our own jeans
-trident