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Published April 28, 2010
POLLS CLOSED....
Looks like phukuhp is our Prime Minister for the week, though he might have to work out a power sharing deal with the Opposition Leader, Bombfilledshark. 
The rest of you can ro-sham-bo it out in Parliament, or however you want to deal with tie-breaking.

Below are the "Spasey" Awards and a 'how they voted' tally...

Thanks all for coming and be sure to participate next week!


"ooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUooooo... TIGER, IM AM THE GHOST OF SPONSERS PAST."
 - 
phukuhp


To see original captions and votes, go to:
http://www.funnyordie.com/forums/2/topics/799857

I feel like I really got to know all of you fuckers and I wish I could take it all back; seriously though, I want my week back!  That said, here is my chance as the mere facilitator to be judgmental and subjective, perhaps bluntly so, but these awards are just for goofy fun time, so don't get all butt-hurt, unless you're into that sort of thing, in which case, by all means, don't let me plug you up.
So, without further-ado-about-nothing, The First Weekly Democracy NOW, Serenity LATER! Caption Election......................................
"Spasey" Awards

First one to figure it out (likely affecting their vote count) - JoeLeeThree
(also, voting for and commenting on caps may butter us up [see worst excuse below] but you guys'll get 'em next time)
Last one to figure it out (likely affecting their vote count) - jellybean13
(in fact I think I should give you mellowpuma's votes because I threw him up there, but you persevered; Rhiann0n, lobizon, what do you think?)
Most self-contradictory username (likely affecting their vote count) - srjefe2
(loosely translated #2 boss man, I think you need to more directly assert your authoriTIE!)
Advertising with benefits - Rhiann0n
(xoxoxoxoxoxoxo)
Secret weapon against DIE-bombers and the jadedness they induce - Bombfilledshark
(can I have your phone number?)
Best excuse for not voting - Kooldad
(indisposed in Texas "donating" to an Indian casino, or, by the looks of HIS capcon, an Indian sperm bank)
Worst excuse for not voting - Rodneydean44
(nobody voted for that one cap I posted, WTF, that shit was funny, right? Awh, screw this!) [just bustin' yer balls rod, come back tomorrow and get into it!]
Worst excuse for not voting FOR ME, at least - Bombfilledshark 
(I'm a Pisces but I'd rather be a killer whale. can I have your phone number?)
Worst and/or best excuse for not showing up - (it's a tie! see ya next time, guys?)
ClayJunky for: "holy shit, I need to put the wild turkey down to follow those directions...can you draw me a picture?" 
...and...
FissureFilms for: "Huh? Wha? Too much thought required. Too many rules. Too many caption contests. Too much time spent here already. Serenity NOW! NOW!"
Most likely to land a 'Diebold' endorsement for being a voting machine - lobizon
(nice to meet you, I don't know why werewolves got such a bad rap)
'Cawffee Tawk' with Linda Richman - mellowpuma
(foil 'hats-off' to you, sir)
Can I have your phone number? - Bombfilledshark

Can I have your address and/or blue panda babies? - Rhiann0n

Will you sign my restraining order - spase

Spam. bam, thank you, Ma'am - SORORITYGIRL

Agent of British Intelligence - Kristi51

Who? - SORORITYGIRL

Best pun sandwich that I only just now fully grasped but didn't get to vote for in time -
BillyRoboto for:
"Now that the cats out of the bag Tiger doesn't mind bringing his gimp on tour..."
(that's deep, d?mo arigat?)
Seemingly involuntary 'Buttfor' reference - srjefe2

I tried to vote for WSS but it cast my vote for Pat Buchanan - (IRONICALLY) spase

Blue/Green colorblindness (I was gonna be a jet pilot) award - gottadime

Least threatening psycho killer face, ever - "Heeeeeeeeerrre's  jitterbug !"

Moe's "Seymour Putz, I need a Seymour Putz!" award - westsideslant

Best comment with a vote - lobizon for:
"LOL! Thanks for that lovely mental image. I just threw up a little in my mouth."
Best comments in general - jitterbug

Dictum... damn near killed 'em - jimbobalouie

Most underrated, or least overrated - lizardladyfla


Alright, now go home and rest because the next election cycle starts tomorrow night (watch out phukuhp, we're comin' for your crown!)

Here's the votes:
____________________________________________________________________________


ooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUooooo... TIGER, IM AM THE GHOST OF SPONSERS PAST.

(7) votes (spase, paulthezombie, csymonz, jimjamjones23, jitterbug, mellowpuma, lobizon)
____________________________________________________________________________


Tiger's therapist recommended he hire this guy to come to golf tournaments and stand next to any hot, leggy blonds that show up. Just in case he starts to forget what horrendous public shame looks like.

(6) votes (Rhiann0n, Kristi51, BillyRoboto, lobizon, jitterbug, spase)
____________________________________________________________________________


"As Tiger approaches the 17th it looks like he's chosen a 9 wood in his pants, giggity."

(4) votes (BillyRoboto, jitterbug, lobizon, spase)
____________________________________________________________________________


Tiger defecates on the fringe.

Even Green Man is flabbergasted.

(4) votes (lobizon, Kristi51, jimjamjones23, spase)
____________________________________________________________________________


The Ghost of the 17th Step is always there to haunt Tiger - "I see the Bunker Bunny, I do Not have to meet her, I do NOT have to eat her, I do NOT have to fuck her.."

(3) votes (spase, Rhiann0n, jitterbug)
____________________________________________________________________________


TIGER, DONT LET THE PAST HAUNT YOU, REMEMBER THE OBJECT IS NOT TO GET THE CLUB IN THE HOLE AND KEEP THE BALLS OUT, IT IS THE OPPOSITE.

(3) votes (spase, Rhiann0n, lobizon)
____________________________________________________________________________


BOOOOOOOOOOOO TIGER... BOOOOOOOOO.

(3) votes (jimbobalouie, Kristi51, lobizon)
____________________________________________________________________________


Now that the cats out of the bag Tiger doesn't mind bringing his gimp on tour...

(3) votes (Kristi51, westsideslant, lobizon)
____________________________________________________________________________


He left the cape at home because he thought it'd make him look stupid.

(3) votes (csymonz, lobizon, spase)
____________________________________________________________________________


He was mowed a little short

(3) votes (Kristi51, jitterbug, spase)
____________________________________________________________________________


Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hard-on.

(3) votes (Kristi51, jitterbug, spase)
____________________________________________________________________________


Why the 17th? Because the 18th hole is where they always 'finish'

(2) votes (BillyRoboto, spase)
____________________________________________________________________________


But for the costume, Andy never would have had the guts to stand so close to Stephanie.

(2) votes (jitterbug, spase)
____________________________________________________________________________


Do not be ashame of our love Tiger. i want you as much as you want me

(2) votes (spase, lobizon)
____________________________________________________________________________


Wooooo I'm the ghost of masters tournaments future ... wooo. Now I'll either show you the ramifications of how your life will go if you don't change your ways, or my genitals.

(2) votes  (Rhiann0n, lobizon)   ***[subject to the progress of my metal hat, regardless]
____________________________________________________________________________


Phil Mickelson's response to Tiger's return to professional golf has attracted accusations of unsportsmanlike conduct

(2) votes (spase, lobizon)
____________________________________________________________________________


"There's the 17th camel toe were looking for! . . . who's that black dude?"

(2) votes (jitterbug, spase)
____________________________________________________________________________


(I'll get this one out of the way)

Looks like Tiger has some more explaining to do...

(2) votes (paulthezombie, lobizon)
____________________________________________________________________________


Sponsors, take note: it looks like the "sexual deviants who love golf" market might be larger than you had imagined.

(2) votes (spase, lobizon)
____________________________________________________________________________


He is the best fucking putter in the universe.

(1) votes /
____________________________________________________________________________


"Hey Tiger! Put your balls on this green."

(1) votes /
____________________________________________________________________________


Where is the fucking squirrel with blue balls?

(1) votes /
____________________________________________________________________________


The Blue Man Group auditions included a wacky initiation stunt called: "stand and look normal during an important event in American history"... OR "mess with Tiger".

(1) votes /
____________________________________________________________________________


Odds are that Tiger will take door number 2.

(1) votes /
____________________________________________________________________________


THATS THE SPIRIT TIGER... GET INTO AS MANY HOLES AS QUICK AS YOU CAN.

(1) votes /
____________________________________________________________________________


Green Man was Tiger's wife's idea - the 17th represents their Anniversary, the green suit represents that she'll take him to the cleaners if he even THINKS of using his putter for anything but golf.

(1) votes /
____________________________________________________________________________


Al Gore attends the Masters in his own Green Jacket.

(1) votes /
____________________________________________________________________________


How many putts will a green putz see when the putz with the putter is Woods?

(1) votes /
____________________________________________________________________________


#17 looks on green with envy,while Tiger Woods scores another hole in one.

(1) votes /
____________________________________________________________________________


Tiger Woods never followed the dictum that "good things come in small packages". Golf balls excluded, of course.

(1) votes /
____________________________________________________________________________


"... and this putt could take the match, Chuck."

"I'm sorry, Tom, where is that rude premature golf clap coming from?"

"Oh, my bad. I just farted on my balls, this green suit is a bit tight, and sweaty... What?"

(1) votes /
____________________________________________________________________________


This was the 17th time hulk had whipped out his Greenis and still Tiger would not text him

(1) votes /
____________________________________________________________________________


Although still technically "white" under the LYCRA suit, Tiger's 17th mistress didn't quite "fit" the "profile" in other "areas".

(1) votes /
____________________________________________________________________________




Probably like many of you, I originally signed up for foD to participate in the caption contest.  Little did I know there were so many funny and supportive friends to be made here, and exchanging humor and cracks of wisdom with you folks soon became far more important to me than a free T-shirt.  Unfortunately, some people haven't discovered this other world within foD, but that's a subject for another blahg that I probably won't ever end up wasting the time to write...

There are quite a few alternative caption contests that I know of, and probably a bunch more that I don't, and I think there is probably always room for more; whatever the market will bear, right?

So consider this an experiment in transparency and democracy.  As opposed to having a judge to make the final say so, the "winner" will be determined by the positive votes of we, the people, and not in anonymity...  In other words, if you think someone's caption is funny, leave a comment, if you don't, don't.  Please don't.  In the spirit of that kindergarten mantra, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all", just let it go.  If someone's caption seriously offends you or it's a pal of yours and you want to bust their balls without voting for their cap, just comment on their profile page.  Cool?

OK, so here's how it works:

1.  The picture will be posted here on this blahg because I don't know how to post a pic in the forums.  Please don't comment here on this blahg unless you want to tell me what an awesome/shitty idea this is... this is not the official polling place.

2.  Their will be a link, below the photo, to the forum where the captions and voting will take place.  If that doesn't work, go to "forums", "comedy"," Democracy NOW, Serenity LATER! Caption Election".

3.  Once in the correct forum:  To post a caption for the contest, click "make a post", and insert your personal brand of hilarity.

4.  To vote for any particular caption, under that ORIGINAL CAPTION itself, click on "reply to this post", and enter whatever you want (ie: LOL, you funny fucker, HA!, etc.). 
[This next bit may go without saying but I'll say it anyway]:
If you vote for yourself or vote more than once for any particular caption it will only make it more confusing to count the results.
If you have multiple accounts on foD and you want to use them to fuck with a caption contest, please go away, because if you do it here, you will only fool yourself and at best we will ignore you; At worst you will be viciously mauled by an otherwise mild-mannered jungle cat.

5.  Votes will be tediously tallied by (let's face it, me), and results posted by the next Wednesday's election . 

UPDATE
: Enjoy your week, all.  Polls for this inaugural election are almost closed and I am starting on the first recount.


That's it.  I know this could get weird, like I said it is an experiment, so have fun and please let me know if you have any ideas or suggestions or if you have funny pics to use. 

Thanks a mucho and funny til you DIE!
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