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Published August 22, 2008 More Info »
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Published August 22, 2008

 

 OLYMPIC LESSER-KNOWN SPORTS 

MEDAL COUNT

The Lesser-Known Sports medals are actually buttons.

Here‘s a comparison of medals to buttons:

GOLD = ALUMINUM

SILVER = FIBERGLASS

BRONZE = PAPIER-MACHE’

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OLYMPIC PROSTATE EXAMINERS

Held in the rear of the stadium, this event fell behind when a mudslide prevented a punctual opening.  This Lesser-Known Sport usually leaves spectators a little queezy, especially those forced to be examined due to the seating-chart lottery system. This event is scored on precision, depth, technique, cleanliness, courtesy, and billing. Dr. Jimmy “Longfinger” Warm had a hangnail and only won Papier-mache’.

 

OLYMPIC BELLYFLOP

Cradshaw “Cannonball” Mazurky won the Aluminum Button for the United States with his ab-cringing splash.  Mazurky’s splash sent water into the cotton-candy machine on the second level concession area.  “He was floptacular”, said Bob Costas, who got a few drops of pool water in his rice pudding. 

 

OLYMPIC “OKLAHOMA!” MUSICAL PERFORMANCE

This Lesser-Known Sport is a doozy. A real “display of stamina”, says Luke Warm, director and Head of Smaller Cattle at the “Rodgers and Hammerstein Theatre of Arts and The Musical Oklahoma!” located in Whatsmyname, Kansas.  “We knew we had Aluminum, the hard part was watching Oklahoma! Sixteen times in a row.  You have know idea how difficult this event really is until you sit thru that crap over and over and over again." 

DING-DONG DITCH

Casey and Anthony Crotchatorria literally ran-away with the Fiberglass in this event, and were last seen headed for the hills of Beijing to ring every doorbell they see in celebration.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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