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March 31, 2018

About to Try Online Dating for the First Time? Check out these FAQS!

About to Try Online Dating for the First Time? Check out these FAQS!

1. Q: “Is it inappropriate to ask my internet date personal questions?”
A: Of course not. You can ask them anything you want. They’re just a regular person like you! Get to know them.

2. Q: “Should I bring a business card?”
A: No. This is not business. Just be casual and have fun.

3. Q: “I’ve only slept with a few people. Will they know?”
A: Honestly, yes.

4. A: "I’ve slept with lots of people, but never someone I met off the internet. Will they know?”
A: No. I don’t see how they could tell.

5. Q: “I just told my first internet date that I’m a virgin, but I was lying. What should I do?”
A: Why would you tell them that? You’re in your 30s! And no one actually wants to sleep with a virgin. That was only a dumb thing guys said they liked as teenagers. Just tell them the truth. Otherwise this will become a whole thing.

6. Q: “I saw my internet date at the bar but I just walked right passed him. Can I go back? His name is “Dave.””
A: Yes. Just turn around and ask them if they are “Dave.” It’s really not a big deal.
Q: “I just walked right by him again and left. It felt weird to talk to him after I walked by him.”
A: (sigh) Fine. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

7. Q: “Will my internet date murder me?”
A: No. Of course not. Tell a friend where and when you’re going on your date and the person’s name just to be safe.
Q: "What if they used a fake name so they could murder me?”
A: We do not allow fake names.
Q: “What if I want them to murder me?”
A: …

8. Q: “Is there such a thing as dressing too slutty for my internet date?/ Should I wear a costume like a nurse or something?”
A: DO NOT COME DRESSED AS A SLUTTY NURSE. I’m assuming you are not a nurse so do not dress like a nurse. Just be yourself and dress in normal clothes. Why are you trying to ruin this date?

9. Q: “I’m on my internet date. I’m in the bathroom. I don’t think I like this person very much. They said a lot of stuff about “farming” which was fine but then they switched to “porn” and I’m supportive of farming but not as keen on porn. I’m not sure what to do?”
A: You can leave your internet date at any time.

10. Q: “I didn’t like my internet date so I just left. They later messaged me and said “Are you ok? Where did you go?” Can you ban them from the dating app?”
A: Wait, did you just leave unannounced?
Q: “That’s correct. You said I could leave at any time.”
A: Yeah but like, say “Goodbye" or “This isn’t working. Thanks though.”
Q: “Oh, You didn’t say that so I just walked out.”
A: Jesus Christ.

11. Q: "Are you single? I just really like your advice so I was curious.”
A: This is not the place to ask me out. I am here to answer these questions because it is my job.

12. Q: “My mom-“
A: Stop. Whatever this question is the answer is No.

13. Q: "If I arranged to be murdered by someone else while on my date, could I frame my date for the murder?”
A: I’m sorry. Your account has been suspended pending investigation.

14. Q: “Hi! I started a new account. Do you want to come over?”
A: NO. Also, it is recommended that you have a first date at a public place. Please stop contacting me personally.

15. Q: “Hi I’m in your apartment! Try to find me!”
A: Thank you for your question. Please allow us 24 hours to find our customer service representative and we hope you’re having a fun date!