Included here are some of the happiest tweets on Earth.
apparently my bosses favourite Disney song is 'get back to work', ive never even heard of that one
— josh (@ruinedpicnic) December 6, 2016
Having sex with me is like experiencing Disney World for the first time: it fucking sucks
— k horse (@Karate_Horse) March 2, 2017
ME: (unthawing Walt Disney) You need to draw pants for that duck.
— Tommytoughstuff (@Tommytoughstuff) April 24, 2017
A 90s Disney exec reclines with his feet on the conference table. He takes a few puffs from his cigar.
— Kibblesmith (@kibblesmith) February 25, 2017
"Goofy should have a dead wife."
Rejected Disney rides:
Frozen Face Off
Nemo's Toilet Adventure
Vacuum Aladdin's Carpet— Kim Monte (@KimmyMonte) April 26, 2017
my niece went to disney world for the first time and grabbed the character's crotch for every photo hahahaha pic.twitter.com/s6JICSt2IY
— Christine Sydelko (@csydelko) January 28, 2017
Disney sets painfully unrealistic expectations. No dogs will eat my spaghetti.
— Allie Goertz (@AllieGoertz) August 30, 2016
Kids, no matter what Disney says, taking torches to the castle of an unelected tyrant who imprisons people on a whim is always a good move.
— Andrew Ti (@ANDREWTI) March 31, 2017
For the next ten years Disney's strategy is "What if we turned our old stuff into 90-minute Vanity Fair photo shoots?"
— Louis Virtel (@louisvirtel) March 3, 2017
How To Talk To A Woman, Disney edition. pic.twitter.com/Q1ZNhhpzgF
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) September 2, 2016
hi I'm [demonic shrieking] and you're watching Disney channel
— Grace Spelman (@GraceSpelman) April 8, 2017
The underlying theme of every Disney movie is that you find love by ignoring dozens of serious red flags.
— MehGyver (@AndrewNadeau0) January 3, 2017
My favorite Disney song is the one where the baby lion can't wait for his dad to die so he can be King
— dream ghoul (@TheDreamGhoul) April 8, 2017
You (naive): Disney's Star Wars
— Pixelated Boat (@pixelatedboat) April 15, 2017
Me (smartest man alive): Di$ney'$ $tar War$
Walt Disney's last words were fern gully
— Marlo Meekins (@MarloMeekins) April 24, 2017
Every boy and girl watching Disney's Robin Hood: I think- yeah I think I want to fuck foxes.
— Soren Bowie (@Soren_Ltd) September 10, 2016
My vagina is called downtown disney and my butthole is called browntown disney
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) January 9, 2016
Disney clears up Goofy/Pluto confusion: "Look, Goofy is simply a man who killed a dog and wears its skin. He has a human brain and penis."
— extremely online guy (@nickmullen) January 29, 2016