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May 23, 2016
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Donald Trump has released a statement indicating that the infamous and elusive Mexican drug lord Joaquin 'El Chapo' Guzman, shall be the billionaire's top pick for running mate in the upcoming November general election.

In another brash move that shocked many in the GOP, Donald Trump has released a statement indicating that the infamous and elusive Mexican drug lord Joaquin ‘El Chapo’ Guzman, shall be the billionaire’s top pick for running mate in the upcoming November general election.

The news came as a shock to many who support Trump’s immigration policy and desire to build a wall separating Mexico and the U.S. and experts believe the news has again fractured an already deeply divided Republican Party at a time when unity is essential if Trump has any hopes of winning the White House. The statement, which was released yesterday on Twitter, addressed many of the concerns and offered somewhat of an explanation.

“El Chapo has all the characteristics I’m looking for in a running mate, OK? He’s a proven businessman, he’s resourceful, unbending, brutal and scary. I say he’s a born leader with a track record of success and an eye for the deal. That’s what this country needs right now, not another career politician who’s only goal is remaining in office and getting rich off kick-backs and slush funds. El Chapo is already rich so we don’t have to worry about that with him, OK? I’m telling ya, if you like Chris Christie, you’re gonna love El Chapo. Plus, I need him to win the increasingly-precious Latino vote.”

Many are questioning the timing of this announcement, coming just a day after it was learned that Mexico will go ahead with plans to extradite ‘El Chapo’ to the U.S. where he is to stand trial in multiple states for charges of drug smuggling, murder and money laundering to name just a few. Some believe that the extradition is just a ploy to get the drug dealer out of Mexican prison and into the U.S. in time for the general election this November and that he will never stand trial once Trump bails him out of Federal prison.

When asked if this recent development will influence his decision to vote for Trump, one supporter had this to say. “Ya, at first I was scratching my head”, explained Cooter ‘J.B.’ McRobb. “I mean, isn’t the whole point to keep people like ‘El Chapo’ out of this country? But then I started thinking about it. Maybe it is time to send those fat cats in Washington a message. Maybe El Chapo is that messenger. I mean, Trump is right. Chapo does have the kind of muscle and grit we need more of in Washington. He’ll get things done, just you watch.”

It seems no matter what he does or who he chooses as his running mate, Donald Trump can do no wrong in the eyes of many Americans and the choice of ‘El Chapo’ Guzman may play out to be another well-calculated move by Trump and inch him ever closer to the presidency in the long run. For now, we can only wait and see what he will do next and comment on it ad nauseam until November and God knows, perhaps for long after.

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