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Published March 02, 2009

So... Just to clarify... I'm not rich.... I'm not even close to rich... Hell, I'm lucky I can even spell "rich"...

My family isn't rich either... but my mother sure seems to think so...

See, she has a problem. She gets herself a new cell phone at least every year... if not sooner..... No... not as part of some "New all the damned time" contract plan... she ebays herself every new phone she has a hankering for....

About two years ago... she got herself a Palm Trio... It worked great, for a second... then it made her mad... so she got a newer and better trio... and pawned the old one off on me...

The problem was... When she got the first Trio... I got the old Razr she had... and I loved that phone.... Until the cat knocked a cup of water on it, and it gave up the will to display....

See, I'm pretty simple (I'll just leave the joke at that... you all run with it...:-) ...) ... all I want my phone to do is make/recieve calls, text message, have a usable alarm clock... and maybe take pictures, although that's not a need... it's a toy feature... That's why I loved the Razr... it was so easy, even a Kenny could work it...

The Trio just made me feel stupid(er)... like I need to be a sniper with a stylus, and have a frickin masters from MIT, just to set my morning wake up call.... so I dumped the Trio after about a month... and went back to a good old fashioned green-screen display I had in a drawer at home...

Then... last Summer... Mom got a Blackberry Curve, and tried to pawn the new Trio off on me... And I said no... I'd had a bad taste in my mouth from the last one, and the new Razr I got for X-mas was just so much better (even though it liked to randomly turn off, thanks to, guess what... charging in water... Noticing a pattern here??)

Now we get to last month... when Mom felt the need to get a new G1 (or whatever the hell it's called....).... and she offered me the Crack... I mean.., "Blackberry".....

Me + Smart Phones = Funny shit... No... seriously... it took me 5 minutes to figure out it wasn't a touch screen.... (Ok... maybe just one minute... but still.....)

But now... I have the thing pretty down pat... and I'm scared.....

Seriously... do we really need to be giving Kenny more ways to access Porn... I mean, log on to FOD... no... I mean look up Porn....

Seriously.... I was already here....



Did we need to upgrade to this???



So... yeah.... I now have this thing set up for all 6... yes... 6... email addresses I have.... Not my work one though... I get over 100+ emails on that one a day... way too much beeping.....

But... Yeah.... I'm a Crackberry Head now.... God help us all...

- Kenny G.

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