Um ... Thanks?
1. A Nebraska man has been reunited with his motorcycle that was stolen from him almost 50 years ago. Upon being presented with the bike, the 73-year-old man said, “What the Hell am I supposed to do with this?”
Number 1 Rule of Dating: Avoid Accused Murderers
2. For the second time in three months, George Zimmerman has been accused of threatening a woman with a gun, this time by his girlfriend. In related news: someone is dating George Zimmerman!!
Big Broder Is Watching
3. French authorities are investigating top executives of Ikea France for allegedly spying on its employees. The Ikea executives say it could take them months to assemble their defense.
4. In a new interview, Toronto mayor Rob Ford said he is confident he will be re-elected next year. Then he introduced his new political advisor: Crack.
Final Score: Pez 2,276 - Teeth 0
5. A Pennsylvania man has amassed a collection of over 2,200 Pez Dispensers. When asked if there was anything on his wish list that he hadn’t been able to obtain, he said, a girlfriend.