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December 11, 2014
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Interviews are often scary. Joe gives you some proven tips to make interviews as easy as 1,2,3!

Interviews can be nerve wrecking; I got you though! A big part of interview success is doing research beforehand. At the end of each tip, you will be given homework to help you prepare for what will become a stress-free experience!

Tip #1: Dress to Impress

Dress like you’re going on a first date. Remember, sex is on the third date, so ladies can cover up their cleavage and fellas don’t need tight pants to show their bulge.

Don’t be the old lady everyone can smell six pews away in church: avoid the perfume and cologne. Instead of artificial scents, go all-natural! This allows the interviewer to know you are confident with exactly who you are.

HW: Steal your interviewer’s scrapbooks and find clothes they will associate with happy memories. You’re guaranteed to get bonus points if you wear the exact dress from their wedding!

Tip #2: Show up Early and Ready

You can’t show that you’re punctual if arrive for your interview late. Take no risk and pitch a tent to sleep in front of the office the night before.

Prepare multiple breakfast choices for your interviewer. Greet him at the door with beverages (coffee, decaffeinated coffee, tea, decaffeinated tea, pulp-free orange juice, orange juice with pulp), and have a buffet of food waiting on him (scrambled eggs, eggs over easy, eggs over medium, pancakes, bacon, sausage links, sausage patties, cereal, yogurt), and in case he is a man of vices be sure to have ice cream and bourbon on the ready.

HW: Enroll in culinary classes to become the best breakfast chef in town. (Note: if this interview is for a cook’s position, consider enrolling in more than one culinary class!)

Tip #3: The Handshake

A firm handshake goes a long way when creating new, meaningful impressions. In high school, I met with a potential university’s representative and the only thing I remember is that his handshake was awfully weak. So weak, in fact, that I won’t even allow any of my future children to go to that stupid school.

Allow your creativity to shine through your handshake: create a bird with both hands, add a clap sequence, or take a step back and recite your mutual favorite Shakespeare monologue. Creating a secret handshake with the employer will show that you are compatible and are able to build together.

HW: Alongside your resume, send in 3 videos of secret handshake options. Be sure that something in the handshake shows that they are personal for the two of you!

Tip #4: Be Rememberous

Show your skills with fun and memorable examples. Everyone is a “leader” and is “proficient with Microsoft Word,” but who do you think the interviewer will remember: the guy with an Ivy League vocabulary or the guy who is inventive and created his own word, like “rememberous.”

Will they remember the guy who brought in his organized planner or the guy whose chest was a tattoo timeline of his life, which included working for their company starting the next day?

How about the gal who claims to be great at multi-tasking or the lady who delivers twins while talking about her weaknesses (that don’t exist)?

We both know the answer to those questions.

HW: Don’t live a boring life.

Tip #5: Follow Up

Once you walk out of the interview, it is time to make sure the employer not only remembers you, but knows just how much you want the job. Send him a lengthy e-mail thanking him and attach an audio recording of your entire interview; this way, he can’t forget you.

Don’t trust that he will get the e-mail. You need to call his mobile and home phones. Facebook his daughter. Make sure you are remembered, and that he knows you are 100% committed to joining his company and being a part of his life. I would say it’s not unreasonable to propose to his daughter as well.

HW: Online stalk your interviewer. Know everyone he knows and acquire their cellphone numbers and social media information.

Good Luck!

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