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Stats & Data

September 29, 2016

An investigation into political correctness, B.S. and the end of the world.

It was another beautiful fall day so I headed to the local pub, running into my buddy Dickie at the bar.

“So,” I said, “I saw a bumper sticker the other day for Donald Trump that said, "No More Bullshit.” Hard to argue with the tag line, and I’m sure we get a lot of B.S. from Hillary, but not sure that the Donald qualifies for “No BS.” What do you think?“

"Well, fact checkers say he makes stuff up about 53% of the time,” Dickie said, “so obviously there is a lot of bullshit in there. Plus, he says he’s going to fix everything but teen acne, but that’s not really the point”

“Ok, I’m game,” I said, “what is the point?”

“The point,” he said, “is that his supporters are tired of political correctness. They want someone who ‘tells it like it is’.”

“What does that really mean?” I asked. “It’s like no more B.S.; everybody says it, but no one defines it.”

“Well,” he said, “A couple of things. First, people in public are not allowed to say anything these days because of all the special interest groups waiting to pounce on a comment and scream bloody murder. Let’s try it on you. What bugs you about today’s society.”

“Well, I think people should take care of themselves so we don’t have to pay for their breathing machines and heart attacks. I don’t like fathers who abandon their kids. I think guns are ok, but they don’t translate into freedom and patriotism and we have too damn many of them. I think Muslims ought to work harder at getting rid of radicals. I think welfare hasn’t worked. I think we murder too many people in the United States. And I don’t much care to watch two guys kissing on television. I also don’t understand how protesting equates to burning cars, breaking windows and stealing things. Plus I think just about anything we do in favor of the environment is ok. And I think old people drive too slow.”

“Let me translate in today’s world,” he continued. “You hate fat people, poor people, gun supporters, Muslims, gays, blacks and white trash. You also can be identified as a liberal, a right-winger, a homophobe, a xenophobe, a gerontophobe, anti-Muslim and a tree-hugger.”

“Yikes! Good thing I’m not running for office. And I thought I was kind of an ok guy.”

“You’re the scum of the Earth,” he said. “See, this is how it works. And for every label I just put on you, there is an entire network of groups ready to pounce and tell the world what an asshole you are, with the media happy to oblige them by broadcasting everything you said, and others said about you. And if you were something other than a nobody, they’d grill you repeatedly on national television until you looked like a blithering idiot. That’s why we have so much B.S. People are afraid to give an honest opinion.”

“Ok,” I stuttered, “so I should never say anything publicly that I really mean, or I’ll get crucified.”

“Right. That’s what’s happened. Our ‘free speech’ ideology, in a world controlled by mass communications and special interests, is a mirage. You can only win elections by saying nothing of substance, beating up the other guys for 16 months, then supporting some vague agenda everyone knows is crap.

"So, along comes a guy,” he continued, “who pretty much everyone agrees is a jerk, but at least he doesn’t care about being called out by all of these groups.”

“Sounds about right,” I said. “So, what else does ‘no more B.S.’ mean?”

“Well,” he said, “it’s also means we can’t let other people know, publicly, how much we hate, detest and despise them.”


“Have you ever listened,” he asked, “to what they really think when they’re with their own groups? Everyone has biases and prejudices, but for a lot of people, it’s downright hate. All you have to do is go on the internet and you find it everywhere. People hate blacks, whites, liberals, Muslims, Hollywood, gun-controllers, the government, Obama, Hillary, Trump, socialists, Democrats, Republicans, hillbillies, elitists, rich, poor, smarts, stupids, Mexicans, Irish, Chinese, Japanese, and about everyone else. The only people everybody likes are the Canadians.”

“Sometimes,” I said, “it does seem that way. There’s plenty of hate to go around. And it seems like our political parties feed a lot of it.”

“Right,” he said. “They want us to hate everyone in the other party and they do everything they can to label everyone who disagrees with them, then make that word sound awful. But that’s another story.

"The fact is, a lot of people have had to keep their hate under wraps. To them, ‘no more bullshit’ means that someone is finally saying what they feel, and it ain’t pretty. They’ve been living under a veneer of civility for the last 40 years or so and they’re tired of it.”

“Hmm,” I pondered. “So people like a guy, even if they know he’s full of shit, because at least he comes close to ignoring political correctness, and he generally at least infers he hates different groups as much as we do.”

“Right,” he said, “it doesn’t matter. A lot of people are tired of acting like they accept all of these groups. They want to say what they really feel, which is that they’re tired of Muslim terrorists, inner-city thugs, rappers, liberals, career politicians, gun-controllers, tree-huggers, most foreigners, gays and trannies.”

“So,” I said, “what happens if we let all of this out and each of those groups decides to hate us back?”

“Armageddon, probably,” he said. “The reason is that political correctness keeps us from really expressing our inner hate so we can all pretend to get along. Take that away and it’s back to tribal warfare. Whether it’s race, religion, or geography, the human race is always ready to hate somebody else. Look back at history. It’s all about the same things. In the last century alone, about 100 million people were killed in two big wars, one of which was mostly a pissing contest because no one would back down, and the other caused by a combination of economics, nationalism and racial cleansing.”

“Think of it this way. What would you say if I publicly came out and said I hate you because you’re in one of these groups?”

“I’d hate you back,” I said.

“You got it,” he replied. “Hate breeds hate.”

“So ‘no more bullshit’ means the world is probably going to come to an end?” I concluded.

“Yeah, probably,” he finished. “But it ought to be interesting. At least people will be expressing themselves.”

“Great,” I concluded. “I think I need another beer.”