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February 02, 2012

I hallucinate that my deodorant becomes a penguin

I went online last night and searched for how long it takes you to start hallucinating from lack of sleep and it turns out it only takes about 36 hours without sleep to make you hallucinate and I hadn't slept for about that long so I knew I was probably going to start hallucinating soon and sure enough the deodorant on my dresser started to turn into a little penguin and then that little penguin had to go to school and he was in class and the teacher was talking about math but the penguin didn't like math because it was too hard so instead of listening he started playing with his pencil and he stuck it in his mouth because he wanted to see how far into his mouth he could get it so he started pushing it in making sure to go slow because he was nervous that something bad might happen but then he got so excited that he might get it all the way to the back of his mouth and he decided to just push it in real hard and then it touched his uvula and he threw up all over his desk and everyone was staring at him and he looked down at his chunky barf and saw some apple skins in it because he had eaten an apple earlier and then he sniffed it and it smelled bad and then he looked at everyone and they all had big eyes and the teacher wasn't talking about math anymore and the penguin decided he didn't like that everyone was looking at him so he covered his eyes with his wing and walked out of the classroom and the worst part is that no one even asked him if he felt okay or offered to take him to the nurse so he decided he would have to kill them all so he used the switchblade he kept in his pocket to stab a concrete truck driver who was driving by on the street in front of the school but only enough to make him die from bleeding so that he could steal the truck and then after the driver bled to death the penguin took the concrete truck and drove it into his classroom and ran over the teacher and emptied the liquid concrete all over the other kids and then it hardened on them and they all died and then it was quiet and the penguin blinked once real slow and then he was like, so yeah...fuck you guys.