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May 01, 2015

What To Get Your Loved Ones For World Naked Gardening Day


It’s that time of year again, World Naked Gardening Day is upon us! This May 2nd everyone in the world will take their clothes off and do gardening of some kind. Why? As the World Naked Gardening Day’s official website says (Quick warning: Link contains naked bodies of all shapes and sizes, all of them beautiful):

Gardening naked is not only a simple joy, it reminds us–even if only for those few sunkissed minutes–that we can be honest with who we are as humans and as part of this planet.

They go on to explain how to celebrate WNGD:

All that’s involved is getting naked and making the world’s gardens–whatever their size, public or private–healthier and more attractive.

So hopefully you’ve gathered all your gardening tools and thrown all your clothes in the garbage because this Saturday it’s all about getting naked and wading through some tall itchy grass, keeping ticks out of your pubes, and swatting flies away from your penis or vagina and butthole.

While it’s not traditionally a day where you exchange gifts, who doesn’t like getting a special something on a special day. So I’ve put together a quick gift guide for you to get ready for the big day.


For Moms:
Even naked, moms and childless women of mom age generally love wearing big floppy hats. Any fun pastel spring colors will do. Keeping your mom shaded and stylish even in her birthday suit.

For Dads:
Dads are always the toughest to buy for. And all the classic dad present go-to’s (ties, belts, socks) are obviously out of the question. What I suggest is a monogram handled rake. Or some Truck Nutz as a joke gift.


For Siblings:
Naked gardening with your siblings should always be fun. One way to ensure the fun doesn’t take an ugly turn is to make sure you never make eye contact. Very dark sunglasses are the perfect gift for sister or brother. Plus, they make you look cool!


For Elderly Next Door Neighbors:
Everyone has a pair of grandparent figures living close by and they always seem to need one thing: help. A cute booklet of “Helper Coupons” is a fun and heartfelt gift that will be both heartwarming and useful for your elderly fellow gardeners. A few sample coupons:

“This certificate entitles the holder to one free lawn mow”

“This coupon entitles you to a complete weeding of your garden”

“Use this voucher any time you need to bend over to pick something up on World Naked Gardening Day”


For Co-Workers:
This is always a tough one. Should you get something at all? If you get something how personal should it be? How much should you spend? You might even have a boss that makes you come into work on WNGD. A good, tactful way to handle all this is to send a nice letter, not unlike a traditional Christmas card, with a quick handwritten note wishing them well and a picture of your whole family naked holding shovels.