i have been fighting off some sort of virus for a couple days now. the battle was going well until yesterday. i don't know what tipped the scales against me. could have been drinking the night before...could have been because i smoked too many cigarettes...maybe it was the spicy falafel i had for breakfast...who knows, but either way i went from feeling a little crummy to full on i-want-to-peel-my-skin-off kinds of sick and uncomfortable in a matter of minutes. LAME. so i did hat i always do when i feel that bad...i got high. because when i'm sick like that i already feel all the physical effects of being stoned (lethargy, poor motor control, dry-mouth) but none of the psycological (euphoria, contentedness, relaxation, ect.). so i might as well take the good and the bad if i can.
last night it felt great. i didn't really notice how sick i was until i went to bed, and by then i was too tired for it to interfere with my rest. but this morning...well things went a little differently. waking up felt terrible and so i dragged myself downstairs to wake and bake, and hopefully, feel less terrible. it started fine. sitting on the couch staring at my blank tv. i started to feel a little better, less clogged up (oh, yeah, i also took some dayQuil). but then i left the house and started towards the subway. everything felt like a salvador dali painting. the sidewalk was sliding around under my feet. every person that passed me looked as if they were wobbling from one side of the path to the other...but i knew that was really me...wobbling. i passed under the train tracks (in bushwick the 'subway' is elevated) and looked up right as a train went over head...it took every ounce of willpower and control i had to not run screaming into a dumpster.
finally i got to the station and after the harrowing experience of removing my metro card from my wallet while walking up the stairs (yes, in my current condition that was harrowing...if a cop would have seen me he would not have been able to ignore me...much like the homeless man who laughed and said something about sobriety that i didn't quite catch). the new challenge in front of me was the turnstile...i had my card in my hand and i kne what i had to do...but i just couldn't. my mind tried to get my hand to swipe the metrocard...to no avail. finally one of the station managers came to help me...i think he though i was retarded. i staggared up to the platform, and made it to work just barely on time.
sorry i have to stop this one here. this computer is making me violently angry. it's freezing, randomly moving the curser around the page and then freezing some more. so fuck this machine. hopefully it will be nicer tomorrow.