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June 12, 2008
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I was looking through some old blog posts and I found something that I thought was funny. Thought, might as well put something on here.

Beavers can fly. They just don't want us to know about it. Yet.

A beaver once kicked Chuck Norris' ass. That beaver's name was Bruce Lee.

One out of every 3 rapper's home featured in MTV's Cribs was made by a beaver.

Oregon. Nothing but beavers.

A beaver can cut down a tree in 30 mins., but it can also pen a number 1 hit song in 10. Really, ask Kelly Clarkson.

Beavers can strip the flesh off a cow in 30 sec.

The government has tried to create a gas-powered beaver. They call it a "chainsaw".

Currently, the world's largest beaver is around 5 ft. long, and it's fur is thick, course, and brown. But enough about yo momma...

Beavers killed the dinosaurs.

Beavers have been known to control people's minds.

A beaver helped Moses make the 10 Commandments.

Beavers are considered today's fire-breathing dragons.

Beavers have the nickname "the pimps of the forest". Porcupines are merely the "ho's".

If you ever harness the power of the beaver, you control the world. You hear me? THE WORLD!

Like skunks, beavers have the ability to squirt a foul smelling odor at it's foes. Unlike skunks, it can melt your face off.

Wolverine's bones and claws are not made of adamantium, as previously thought. They actually made of the mighty teeth of the beaver. All hail the mighty teeth of the beaver.

Earthquakes? Actually made by beavers slapping their tails on the ground.

If a beaver ever learned how to play the guitar, the awesomeness of such an event would literally rock your socks, pants, and whatever clothing you are wearing, off. As witnessed in the massive "wardrobe malfunctioning incident" in 1972 in Germany.

If the US sent beavers to space, they would make the planet Mars inhabitable in a matter of months.

Have you ever been slapped by a beaver? It hurts!

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