“I saw Taylor Swift play some song for a sick little boy today in a hospital,” Richard Emery said, “and I tweeted her that there’s another sick little boy here.”
Even though there’s nothing technically wrong with Mr. Emery, he has managed to sneak his way into a hospital bed in the above image. His thumbs up are a sign that everything will go to plan and that he will not get arrested for sneaking into a hospital and pretending to be a patient.
“I see no reason why I can’t send a this picture (the one headlining the article) of myself to Taylor and get her to come play a song for me. But since I hate her music, I will ask ‘Can’t a dying little boy get his first hand job?’. I’ll tell her that I’ve never had an erection however, but then all of a sudden I will and be like, "It’s a miracle!”
When asked what his plan actually is when Ms. Swift sees that he is not a little boy, Mr. Emery says that after sneaking into the hospital in the children’s cancer ward and finding a little boy to kick out of his bed, he’ll stipulate to Taylor Swift that she must wear a blindfold. Then he will give the little boy a script to read for Ms. Swift to hear while she is in the room, because he would have bribed the boy with a lot of candy.
“Every little boy likes candy. There’s that whole pedophile joke for a reason of a pedophile asking a little boy if he wants the candy in his car. Therefore, this bribe should work pretty well.”
The script will go as follows:
— Richard Emery
Ooh. Hello, Ms. Swift. I am your biggest fan. I was wondering if you would give me, this nice innocent little boy, a hand job please.