Recently, we (the internet) learned that Penn State fraternity Kappa Delta Rho kept a secret facebook page where their 144 members shared photos with each other. Some of the photos showed nude or topless women who appeared to be unconscious.
After the story broke, one KDR frat guy gave an interview (anonymously! So brave!) in which he defended his brothers sharing nude pics of topless women as “satire.”
Here is a quote from his neato interview with Philadelphia Magazine:
“Obviously, retrospectively with this having happened, sure, but the thing is, that it was a satirical group. It’s like, there’s literally sites like that that millions of people access, whether it’s totalfratmove.com or any of the other thousands of sites that post, you know, pictures of girls and post funny text conversations and Snapchat stories and things like that. It was a satirical group. It wasn’t malicious whatsoever. It wasn’t intended to hurt anyone. It wasn’t intended to demean anyone. It was an entirely satirical group and it was funny to some extent.”
Coincidentally, Funny Or Die is also a satirical group that is funny to some extent. In fact, we make funny satire for our jobs. Funny Or Die is so impressed with this fraternity’s grasp of satire that we’re going to make some satire of our own, by publishing pictures of KDR’s dicks.
Kappa Delta Rho, we realize that your members probably have some questions. Here are some answers to the stuff you may be wondering about.
Kappa Delta Rho: Where did you get pictures of our dicks?
Funny Or Die: Don’t worry about it. Just know that we definitely have them and we’re going to publish them on the internet. LOL!
KDR: There are 144 people in this frat. Whose dicks do you have?
FOD: All of you’s!
KDR: Hey, this is the guy in KDR with the weird dick. You know, it’s small and a weird shape. It looks really embarrassing.
FOD: Boy does it!
KDR: So you won’t post it?
FOD: No, we definitely will. Yours is the funniest!
KDR: Some of us took pictures of our dicks on purpose, to show them off, or for jokes. So there are pictures of our dicks that look cute and flattering.
FOD: These aren’t them.
KDR: When are you going to publish our dicks?
FOD: We haven’t decided! Maybe tomorrow. Maybe in ten years. Maybe when you have your first job interview. Maybe the day your daughter gets married. So get ready to laugh!
KDR: Why are you doing this to us?
FOD: For satire!